Friday, December 31


It has been playing in my head for the past few days. Incessantly. Almost typed uncessantly there.
How do you find the words to say, to say goodbye? Can't find the words to say goodbye. When your heart don't have the heart to say, to say goodbye. Is this the end? Are you sure? How could you know when you've never been here before?
Her best album in my opinion. Again, one of the early ones.

I desperately want to change that New Year's post I cued. But I'm afraid I'll screw up the cuingness. It's weird thinking that it'll be 2pm in 2010 here when it's 12am 2011 back home.

Going to the first New Year's party ever. I usually spend it at home watching fireworks on TV. Which people seem to scorn. I like my family though.
By now you should've somehow realised what you're not to do
Went to the mountains for a couple of days, and had my first skiing experience. It was fun. No major injuries, other than tripping while we were walking away from the train station yesterday. Ripped my jeans. Now they look oh so cool. I haven't fallen over like that in a while, the skinning knee and palms business (only very slightly though). I usually find more interesting ways of injuring myself, such as tripping up escalators. Other than only slightly slicing my finger whilst cutting bread, nothing else to report.

The mountains brought to mind Lord of the Rings. Pretty.

I don't think the cuing will screw up. Cause I only just looked at the time stamps on my posts. No, I don't write at 3am in the morning. Take ten hours off.

Saturday, December 25

Without any fear

I'm probably having a white Christmas at the moment. Probably. I hope so. There's just a certain magic in the air when there's snow, instead of the sizzling heat we usually get in Australia, or quite possibly pouring rain, knowing Melbourne.

It's quite possible I'm having the time of my life, although I know that I'll be missing people, above all, my family. I'm sorry I can't be there to share whatever you're doing right now.

I hope you also enjoy the presents. And Carols by Candlelight which should've been last night. I love watching it, but hey, what can you do when you're in the other hemisphere.


Wednesday, December 22


If you were waiting for pictures of my trip, I'm sorry, that's not why it's called pictures. I was stuck for a blog post title. As I always am.

I'm currently sitting here looking at the interesting Christmas drawings which someone did as a rough sketch in planning badges for Christmas. Here's our dilemma: 30 odd people in the house, not enough space in one room. Therefore we need to find a way to have people in different places at different times. Hence the badges.

For some reason, that Jet song started playing in my head the other day. You know, the one we were belting back in grade 5 or something?
Take my photo off the wall if it just won't sing for you. Cause all that's left has gone away and there's nothing there for you to prove. Oh, look what you've done. You've made a fool of everyone. Oh, it seemed like such fun until you lose what you had won. Give me back my point of view cause I just can't think for you.
Why does it feel as though it's talking to me?
You put your hands up. Baby you gave up, you gave up. Could we fix you if you broke?
French radio is full of English songs. Lot's of thinking bout her, thinking bout us, eyes eyes eyes, being in misery, and riding solo. There is also some weird song about Barbera Streisand (can't spell and can't be bothered looking up) by some band called Duck Juice or something. Sauce? I forget. It's...weird.

Then there's some remixed version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow which makes me sad.

Then there's watching Mulan in French which made me incredibly and weirdly sad as well. Shall post that later. About to go shopping.

Wednesday, December 15

Final Assembly III

The third final assembly of my time, even though I won't be there. Deepest apologies for that, seeing as I really badly wanted a family photo. Alas, it didn't happen on Speech Night, and we probably won't get together as a group for a while.

Again, thank you year 12s. Thanks for all the good times, fun times, stupid times and weird, freaking out times. It has been absolutely wunderbar, if that's how you spell it, which I doubt. Hey, I do French, which is why I'm in France and writing this post two weeks in advance.

So yeah, thank you. To my year 11 friends, it's us next year. I am filled with a mixture of excitement and dread.

To the year 10s...nothing much to say, except, GREEN JUMPER. GREEN JUMPER WITH THE SQUISHED HEAD THING. Excited?

To the year 9s, you get to shed that label next year. It's been awesome knowing you guys this year too.

I wonder how my report went.

I wonder if we beat MHS this year. I wonder if you're all going nuts and cheering because we did so. Or if you're cheering anyway, even if we didn't.

Tuesday, December 14


Results were very exciting and all, but I do wish people would reply to emails. Yes, I realise I sent them at about...1am Melbourne time. Still. RSVP.

Still weirdly tired, but appetite is returning. I actually ate something after I came home from school today.

My head hurts all the time. And I miss my bed. I woke up the other night in Toulouse thinking it was my room cause of the positioning of the bed.

A few nights ago I had more exam type dreams. This time I aced the French essay with full marks, yet somehow managed to only get about 70 per cent or something. It made sense at the time. And then I got 51 for music or something.

And then last night I couldn't sleep for stokedness.

Marie's competition was amazing. Watching people do gym...I was astounded by the brilliance of the human body. Then again, I'm probably very easily amazed with regard to other's co-ordination seeing as I have none myself. But yes, it was wonderful, beautiful and spectacular.

You know what makes me miss home? Going past places and thinking, 'my family would love this'. If only they were here. I know they would love the atmosphere of France.

Also thinking about Carols by Candlelight. Thinking that I won't be cuddled up on the couch with them on Christmas Eve.

I miss you all.

I don't believe I reported that they gave us Weis mango ice cream bars on the way to Malaysia. It was awesome.

I also believe that I didn't report that Advent Children did not come with me to France. I thought I'd synched (sunk) my iPod (called Titanic cause I found it extremely amusing) with said movie, but alas, it was not so. You cannot imagine how disappointed I was when I realised. I frantically attempted to find it, but to no avail. Looks like I'll have to waste two hours at home watching it.

Not watch it? Not possible. Must watch. Must.

Monday, December 13

The doom of mankind

Or rather, the doom of everyone who did a 3/4 subject this year.

The results are out. I'll probably be on MSN at this very moment, or more likely, on Facebook at Marie's house. It's probably 10pm, instead of 7am like all you poor bods who had to get up weirdly early (for holidays) to check results. Or, if you're Alice, probably still sleeping in cause she doesn't freak out about results like the rest of us mortals.

What do I want? If I get anything beginning with a four, I'll be ecstatic. But, realistically, I don't think I can break into the top nine per cent for either of the two subjects I did this year, so I'm expecting somewhere in the 30s.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
That pretty much sums it up. Although I probably will be cut about disappointing scores. I'll try not to let it get to me too much, cause this year I really have had heaps of fun, and learnt a lot. Which is the point, right?

Yes, I'm trying to justify bad scores with myself. Even though I have no idea what score I have. Well, I probably will by now, but at this very moment, which is 10:47am on the 28th of November, 2010, I don't.

Which is the reason why "probably" is used so many times; I'm writing two weeks ahead. It's a very strange feeling.

Good luck to us.

Je gagne

There are several things which make me think I win.

Today I wore pompoms in France. Despite the fact that they are not my pompoms, I wore them nonetheless. Therefore, I win.

Petit Nicolas is a lot easier to read in French than Narnia. For that, I win.

Many other reasons which I forgot.


The above was written Friday night. It is now Sunday. I am currently in Toulouse and about to have a two hour car ride back to Bordeaux. En fait Marie's dad just told me we're about to leave.

Results tonight. Oh dear.

I'm having fun by the way. It's all sorta flying over my head at the moment but doing pretty well.

Friday, December 3

les lumières

You cannot believe the awesomeness of not having to go through crazy key combos to get the accents. Currently, (oh I just found the question mark) I am trying to touch-type. It's a little unsettling (hello apostrophe as well) but I'm getting there. It's weird that one requires shift for the full stop. Look up azerty keyboard. You'll get what I mean then. It's alright if I type slowly and think about the keys. I should pick it up pretty soon.

Alors. Bonjour! Je suis en Paris en ce moment et je suis très fatiguée. I also believe that other people may want puter so I'll keep short.

It is amazing. It cannot be described.

Longer posts coming when I get to Bordeaux (hopefully), or if I discover that the Asians behind me actually don't want the computer. After I check Facebook and emails.

Take care!

And what is this: §?

Wednesday, December 1


This is extremely dodgy. This airport doesn't allow Javascript, and me being a computer noob, doesn't know how to fix it. Well I do, but understandably, it's been blocked for us touristy types. No that didn't make grammatical sense. I've been about twenty-one hours without sleep. I get tired easily.

Just update for people to know that I'm safely in Malaysia. I still have a twelve hour trip, commencing in about half an hour.

Shall attempt to email with other people's smartphones which allow Javascript who have successfully attached themselves to free wifi. But in case I don't, I'm good.

This doesn't make any sense. I am tired.

It is also very humid.

The airline people were very nice.

It's fun hanging with people around airports.

On my way to France soon. "Yippee" (quote Naomi). Sarah doesn't use such words. I say things such as "yayzles" instead.

Tuesday, November 30


That's meant to be the sound of an aeroplane engine, when it's taking off, for you unimaginative types out there who can't understand the language of onomatopaie. What a surprise. Chrome tells me I didn't spell that right. It is in fact onomatopoeia. Well, I guess the subject of too many unpronounced vowels brings me to the point of this post, which is that I am, if all goes well, on a plane which is bound for Paris. Well, Malaysia first, then Paris.

Very, mucho excited.

SNOW. And...well, France! I've always wanted to go to Europe. I think the strongest attraction for me is the atmosphere, especially France, with it's history and culture. Speaking of history, we're going to Versailles. I will probably explode from excitement.

One will assume that I will not be blogging much while I'm over there. So, unfortunately, the December/first half of January archive will probably be very small. I seem to have not been blogging much anyway.

So guys, look after yourself, stay safe and enjoy the break before the majority of you plunge into the fun times which shall be year 12. For this year's graduating class, it has been freaking epic knowing you, and good luck on your various trips to everywhere and anywhere, and have fun in uni. Apologies for not being able to go to Final Assembly. Bordeaux, and all that.

I realised I would miss people when I received a random text from someone. I can't remember who, or what it was about, but I only realised it about two weeks ago. Sure, I had been thinking of it, but then it really got to me how much I relied on the people around me to keep me sane and grounded. It got to me that I won't be able to report random happenings to anyone who will get it, or, and this is probably the more important part, in a language I can communicate effectively and hilariously in. That people won't be reporting random happenings to me all the time. That I won't wake up from a weird dream and be able to laugh with someone about the sheer stupidity of it.

I'm going to miss you all.

Thanks to everyone who texted/Facebooked me. It means quite a bit that you all remember, especially when some of you have been rather neglected throughout the year. Sorry, and thank you.

Bec Tee and Cat: I am rather disappointed we probably won't see each other until school starts. Stay safe, wherever you are.

Viv, I shall email as much as humanly possible. I will make up for lack of emails in one period by spamming you whenever I touch a computer.

Happy birthday for tomorrow Jose. Enjoy being 17, just smile and be happy. "I COMMAND YOU." Could you pick up my lock for me, aussi? Je l'ai oublié.

Hasini, enjoy yourself, darlink. I'll stalk you when I get back.

Words are very warm, even if they aren't very pretty. Beware of shifty people in India Mahi. If they try to attack you, launch a llama at them.

Julia, refrain from eating too much. And could you also pick up my blazer? Xie xie.

Bec, I will be unable to catch the train with you to places and discuss Naruto/Bleach with you until further notice. However, six chapters will have gone by by the time I get back, so we'll have plenty to talk about. Although six isn't actually that much in the grand scheme of things. Damn the slow pace.

Margaret, again apologies for the really dodgy rainbow. I tried my hardest. Take care.

Dear diary, I really want to go to the beach. That craving will probably increase ten-fold after I come back. Alice, we will convince your mother that you can swim. You'll probably be the one saving us from drowning.

My family, enjoy Disney.

My brother: enjoy U2 and Jay. Sorry I am not able to be home to Brawl. I wonder if Marie has a Wii...playing French video games could be rather interesting. Must find some sort of gaming friend.

Michelle, sorry I can't be there for graduation. My spirit will be floating around (in ecstasy. Snap), and, most likely, snickering at the antics of year 6s.

And I will attempt to not run into beanbags, coffee tables, chairs, door-frames, or any other type of furniture/part of the house while I'm at Marie's.

À bientôt!

Monday, November 29

Dilly-dally shilly-shally

I just trawled through a certain site containing a certain Rabapapas (see here). It was...interesting. And I thought I'd share a thought.
Maybe something will happen that can never unhappen; that scares you, doesn't it? But you need to think about now. Really take it in!
That is all. I am going to eat a mango now.

Amazingly and rather suddenly sick. Couldn't go to Fed Square today, which is rather disappointing. I miss out on all the fun. Which also meant that I can't see people I really want to see right now.
Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be. Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be. Stand by me, nobody knows. Yeah, nobody knows the way it's gonna be.
Or the John Lennon version.
I won't be afraid. Just as long as you stand, stand by me. So darling, darling stand by me. Oh, stand by me. 
You getting the message here?

Sunday, November 28

Ramble 12

I don't have anything better to do, so I'm blogging. Well, I actually have plenty better to do, but I want to test something about this crazy machine which is blogger. 

Other things to do include: make Christmas presents for people who haven't gotten them yet, and pack. I'm largely packed, but there's all this random stuff which I have yet to find/buy. But largely good. 

I'm sick. Again. I think it's safe to say that my immune system sucks. It was rather random; last night, I was all good, and this morning I woke up randomly at 5:30 with a throat burning like hell, and now my head is all stuffed up and weird. Lovely. 



Friday, November 26

Snail invasion: Part II

They're everywhere. It's not even raining anymore, and the snails are still there. Not just live ones either. Dead ones which have been unfortunately squished by unsuspecting pedestrians.

And then there are the tiny ones which you don't realise are snails, thinking that they're just strangely placed rocks in the middle of the driveway where there shouldn't be any rocks. And you only realise when you get up close and personal. And then freak out, thinking about how close to death that snail was.

I hate walking the dog after it rains.
Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers. Every one of us has messed up too. Lives change like the weather. I hope you'll remember that today is never too late to be brand new. 
I am currently in the process of getting the full version of Advent Children, as I sat through the not full version hanging on for that one scene where Zack pops didn't happen. I was so put out. I got to the end of the movie and my stomach just sank and I wanted to shake the computer and demand "WHERE'S ZACK??!???!?!?"




Those question marks look rather strange now. But guess what I'm going to be watching on the plane on Tuesday? My iPod apparently has only 6 hours of video battery life...I'm spending a whole day on a plane, or thereabouts. That information is according to wikipedia, and probably inaccurate seeing as I've had my iPod for almost a year, and the battery's probably not even that good now. Must find a powerpoint on the aircraft. Or I could charge it in Malaysia I guess, if I can find a powerpoint to suck electricity from. 36 hours of audio is alright. Here's hoping that there are good movies on in-plane tv.

Also according to wikipedia, there is no video playback on nano gen 6. Another reason why you shouldn't get it. Although the screen's tiny anyway. But still.
Can't nobody do it like you. Said every little thing you do, oh baby. Said, stays on my mind. And I; I'm officially missing you. 
I wish you strength on life's sudden slope 

Thursday, November 25

Snail invasion

Snail dodging seems to be how I spend much of my time due to the torrential rain. Well, it wasn't too torrential today. But it did rain.

Kanye's new album came out yesterday, and although I listened to it going into school today, I left it and went to 808s instead. It started with listening to Street Lights about five times on repeat, and then a sudden craving for the sound of the drum machine and autotune. Not really, as the album probably would have been better without the autotune. I'd do the thing I did with Songs About Jane, except some songs I skipped. So here, have some quotes. 
Mrs so fly, crash lands in my room. Can't waste no time - she might leave soon. Don't say you will unless you will. Please say you will. For real. I pray you will. 
And my head keeps spinning. I can't stop having these visions; I gotta get with it. 
Let me know; do I still got time to grow? Things ain't always set in stone. Let me know, let me know. Seems like street lights glowing happen to be just like moments passing in front of me. So I hop in the cab and I pay my fare. See, I know my destination, I'm just not there. 
 I got the right to put up a fight, but not quite. 
Memories made in the coldest winter. Good bye my friend, I won't ever love again. 
Which sounds like:
Could we fix you if you broke? I'll never talk again, oh boy you've left me speechless. You've left me speechless. And I'll never love again, oh friend you've left me speechless. You've left me speechless. So speechless. 
I also watched Advent Children. Quite a terrible movie, movie-wise. Possibly because it just looks like one long cinematic from the games. But seeing as it's Final Fantasy and it has Cloud in it, it's awesome. I keep watching the same bit over and over again. The bit where Cloud gets beaten to pulp by Sephiroth. For some reason, I get excited when heroes get beaten to pulp. Not's a very hard feeling to describe. It tears at my heart, but in a good way. Difficult to describe.
Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away.
I pity you. You just don't get it at all. There's not a thing I don't cherish.

So what if it seems hopeless? If it were me, I still wouldn't give up. Embrace your dreams. Cloud; you know what I told you, right?
That's right. I am your living legacy.
Off to pack my room. I feel in a cleaning mood.

Dear Vivien, although I'm not sure if you even read my blog anymore.

I shall repeat once more. Sorry for the terrible behaviour.


I get up when I'm down. I can't swim, but my soul won't drown. 

Sunday, November 21

Of wanting to share a quote but not having anything else to say

I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.
Party was fun. Maribyrnong* is quite a lovely place, despite being west side. For the second time in as many weeks, I have realised that I am still an awkward shy face. Oh well.

Hayfever has evolved into some sort of weird cold thing. Taking Dimetapp makes my head feel very strange. Two days before Speech Night, with intense rehearsals playing a wind instrument...not good. I have been known to become highly nauseous when playing clarinet. Should be interesting.

My typing at the moment is slightly impeded by the bandaid on my third finger of my left hand, due to chopping myself with scissors at yesterday's party. I am quite good at bizarre injuries from weird activities.

*Can't spell it, and can't be bothered looking it up. Even Alice couldn't spell it, and she lives on the west side. I think I'm excused.

Monday, November 15

Of too much leisure time

Wasn't is beautiful when you believed in everything? 
And everyone believed in you.
My ridiculous amounts of leisure time include tromping to and from school to attend rehearsals (I spend more time tromping than I do rehearsing), making Christmas presents, playing clarinet, fiddling around with piano, and reading the Lonely Planet guide to France. And playing Brawl. I need more hobbies. I also need to make Christmas cards.

Impossible and weird as though it may seem, I'm running out of time.

I also wish to watch all six Harry Potters before it comes out on Thursday, but I don't think that's happening.

And freaking out about calling people I've never met before.

I hate how I feel more awesome about playing my pieces after I've done my recital.

I was sitting on the train the other day (what's new), and I saw a lady walk on and sit across from me with a tennis racket bag. It had a scribble which looked suspiciously like a signature on it, and me being me, my train of thought automatically went "Rafa". I was standing later, and lady was also standing about to alight from the train, and I get to see the signature closer. It was a scribble with a big r, and underneath it said Rafael Nadal.

I felt incredibly jealous of this stranger, and desperately wanted to trade my Calvin Klein for her tennis bag.

Friday, November 12

I can't be no one else

I think I can see the connection between Oasis and The Beatles.

I need to be myself - I can't be no one else

When I hold you in my arms, and I feel my finger on your trigger I know nobody can do me no harm. Because happiness is a warm gun
Bang bang shoot shoot indeed. Anyway, I realised that Noel Gallagher picked up the "let's write lyrics that don't make sense" thing from the Beatles. These two songs make me very happy. Especially on a great day like this. It was a wonderful day. And a day in which I realised that I'm still shy. To an extent. But yes, walking along either listening to Supersonic or Morning Glory on another sunny afternoon makes me feel invincible. Which is why I was swaggering my way to school from Domain. The weather has been very Oasisy of late.

And it's over. It's over for this year. And nothing to freak out about until I go to France, when I will realised the inadequacy of my French skills.

Note to self kids: don't put the hair-dryer which has just been used to torch the dog near your face. It does burn.

Tuesday, November 9

Oh dear

Oh dear.

Not "oh dear, I just did my music written exam, and it was slightly dodgy cause there were supposedly triplets everywhere". Not "oh dear, revs in two days, and I still haven't memorised everything". Not even "oh dear, I may have to perform on Thursday, and hey, the music hasn't even been arranged".

Oh dear, I'm considering getting a tumblr.

Well, I'm not sure if that rates an oh dear...

But oh dear. It sorta started with this thing which Bec Tee got me on, where I stare at pictures of Zack and Cloud from Final Fantasy cause there is just something weirdly peaceful about pictures of them together. See:

And my dilemma is referencing them, cause you know, it's sorta not my artwork. I believe the first one is originally from, and I'm not too sure where the second one came from. Dilemma the second is that blogger isn't ideal for posting pictures, especially ones stolen from another site. 

So...tumblr? Will think about it. Although I'll probably still keep primarily to blogger, cause there is a word limit on tumblr, I believe. Although if that's not the case...well...blogger. Ahem. Stubbornness dictates me keeping to my original blog provider server thing. 

Anyway. There was another point to this post, being from one of the most epic and slightly scorned series (although not by me): Animorphs. 
I wanted so much to live. I wanted so much to stay and not leave. In a moment no answer would matter to me, but just the same, I wanted to know what I guess any dying person wants to know.
"Answer this, Ellimist: Did I...did I make a difference? My life, and death...was I worth it? Did my life really matter?"
"Yes," he said. "You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered."
From book 54: The Beginning. Depressing, and a lot deeper than people give it credit for. "I wanted to know what I guess any dying person wants to know". I think even people alive want to know that. To know that you made a difference, despite the fact that maybe these things shouldn't matter. To know that there's a reason to be alive.

I was going to quote from Babysitter's Club as well, but I cannot find the book. Is babysitter one word? Chrome says it is, but I just reflected on the fact that they're called the BSC...oh well. Once I find that book, expect Kristy to feature here.

Yeah, my pledge of staying off the computer didn't work. I was going to wait until after revs, but apparently not. I'll go have a shower now. Really sleepy. Although glad that the possum which woke me up two nights ago at 2:15am with its greeeek greeeeeks didn't come back last night.

I want to quote the whole book. I was just discussing with my brother that the series is very weirdly realistic for something so ludicrous. Evil alien slugs invading Earth...yet somehow, it manages to maintain a modicum of sanity, and then throws reality and terrible moral questions in your face in the last book. Yeah.

Lord of the Rings also had great potential to be a huge flop; the movie that is. I mean, there was an animated version which came out a while ago, and judging by the pictures, it sucked. Lord of the Rings should not be animated. The live action is epic though. Literally, in the true sense of the words epic and awesome.

I don't know what I'm talking about. This should have been a ramble. But I decided to call it oh dear instead.

I'll stop staring at the pictures now.

To do after exams - NEW AND IMPROVED
- make a heck load of Christmas presents
- make a pile of Christmas cards
- learn French
- learn Lord of the Dance
- turn up to Speech Night rehearsals, cause they're sorta important, and Cat has been turning up to every one even before exams. But it does take her twenty minutes less to get to school. Still. Should go to some.
- look at French
- read Lonely Planet Guide for France
- call French tutor
- maybe maths tutoring
- start LMus pieces (very excited for that)
- buy Christmas presents
- hand out Christmas presents. Somehow.
- pack for France
- buy presents for France
- make epic changing desktop background picture things. What I mean is, find pictures and compile a folder so the desktop of my computer can change into visions of awesomeness. I'm not very good at expressing myself.

Things which are coming up before I go to France:
- party
- French exchange meeting
- year 9 information night
- Speech Night
- two days of school
- orientation for next year
- the Fed Square performance thingo
- lunch/dinner with the musos
- Harry Potter is released + I must go

That is all I can think of. I'll stop boring you with mundane details now, and instead say something interesting.


Saturday, November 6

1. You know...

Your rugby jumper is way too big when it's covers your shorts.

Or maybe my shorts are too short...

It is a very big rugby jumper though.

Idiosyncrasy of my house: it's a few degrees higher upstairs than it is downstairs. Must be because it's closer to the sun.

Been listening to fortune plango vulnera...

Need Rattle's version though. Must find tomorrow.

Friday, November 5

What happens when one is unmotivated for le study

*that should be "with no sounds of piano", and "(being now." My scanning is slightly dodgy. Can't be bothered redoing it.

Apologies for messy writing. Off to do some crazy stuff now. Such as warming up my hands. 

Tuesday, November 2

Panic! In the exam room

I had a dream this morning, probably at about 8am, when I was just about to wake up. I dreamt that for some reason, my exams had all been pushed back by a week. And that music was today. And that revs was in two days.


Although subconsciously, I was going "what the hell?" with quite a bit of fear. Dream me was just standing in the foyer thing outside the exam room (my mind made up the location. It wasn't school), panicking and attempting to cram Carmina into my brain, along with Joey and Lydia.

Thank goodness I woke up.

Revising revs at the moment. Made some cue cards, which may or may not help. I highly regret summarising the notes, sort of. Although it did sort of get the information back into my head. I'm doing a write a revs response and play one level of Plants vs Zombies regime. Quite productive. Will need to start stuffing my brain full of music too. If I did do well on the performance, I don't my written to have brought it down. And if I didn't, well, even more reason to do well on written.

So enough of this.

Oh, and the reason why I'm here is because my brother's playing Plants vs Zombies at the moment and I just wrote a revs response. His exams are coming up too. As is my sister's piano one. We all have an exam on the 9th. Fun times.

Sunday, October 31


Edit at 10:38am 31st October
Just a note to say that this was written yesterday morning. Being the 30th, when I actually had my recital. And that's why the time jumps around. That is all. Just bear that in mind as you commence reading. That, and the fact that the questions are from a note which is going around on Facebook.
So yeah, I have a recital. However, I shall chill before doing some lovely, steady, solid practice. I feel alright. And I felt like doing this just to see if it makes sense, cause I had a quick squiz of it last night, and none of the songs made any sense. Should be interesting.

Only The Ocean by Jack Johnson

Yep, definitely not going to make any sense.

Lady Madonna by The Beatles

Oh dear.

All We Are by One Republic

Gas Panic! by Oasis


Leave Me Alone by Michael Jackson

And not just any version, the acoustic version. How emo.

On and on by Jay Sean

I don't actually know this song. However, it is a nice motto.

Mustapha by Queen

Don't know this one either. What is a Mustapha?

Lost? by Coldplay

I hope not. Although they are questioning it, so hopefully they're not certain on that.

How by Maroon 5

Sorta makes sense.
Although I do not know the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die trying.
I would kill to get you back but how? 
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Can't Let Her Get Away by Michael Jackson

2-4-6-8 by The Jackson 5

Yes, best friend of mine, whoever you are, I think of even numbers in association with you.

F*** All Night by Jay-Z

I sincerely hope not. Really. That is nowhere near my life story. Why do you bring me down like this Jay?

Dream by Michael Buble

Yes, I want to be someone’s dream. That wouldn’t be half bad.

U Got It Bad by Usher

Now that makes sense. Pity I don't like anyone, but this is the aptest thing so far.

Roses by Kanye West

Hard to dance to rapping.

Holler If Ya' Hear Me by 2Pac

Don't know this one. However, it's probably highly inappropriate for a funeral.

Heffalumps And Woozles from Winnie The Pooh

Hell yeah.

Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder

No, it's actually not my biggest fear.

Friday Night by Lily Allen

Now you're all wondering what I do on a Friday night. I usually...go out with my family. Whoa. That's crazy.

Lithium by Nirvana

Isn't that an element?

Supersonic by Oasis

It's the live version, but it's still there. You guys are supersonic. Amazingly so.

Breathe In, Breathe Out by Kanye West

Well, I won't, cause I'm a little bit rebellious like that. This is an interesting exercise. I may do several more and blog them instead.

30th October

That was done this morning. Before the recital.

Recital went fairly well. Had some hiccups, but largely good, and didn’t feel overly nervous. Best performance I feel that I have ever given, which is something. Hopefully that will be reflected in the study score.

So let’s try this exercise again, and have some more amusing and nonsensical answers

Forever by Chris Brown

Again, makes as much sense as torrential rain in spring. However, we do live in Melbourne.

Hell Yeah by S. Carter

S. Carter being Jay’s real name. Sean Carter. Jay-Z is a little bit cooler. And yes, I am pretty hell yeah.

The Life by Alicia Keys

Purple Stain by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Yeah. I is a purple stain.

Love Buzz by Nirvana

Nirvana again. That’s a pretty cool purpose.

Lady Liberty Needs Glasses by Malcolm Jamal Warner

Don’t know this song. Is very random. And doesn’t make much sense as a motto.

Warlocks by Red Hot Chili Peppers


Helter Skelter by U2

It’s actually not by U2. It’s the Beatles. Lovely rock ‘n’ roll.
Do you or don’t you want me to love you?
Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown

I don’t. I really don’t.

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
A Message by Coldplay

How profound. 2 plus 2 is a message. Ooooh.

Summer Love by Justin Timberlake

And all seasonal love. I wish JT had more songs. Just saying.

Gravity by John Mayer

I like to think not. Sometimes it does feel like it, but I’m glad of what I have. Man, I’m gonna be trying this thing until I get a real life story.
Gravity is working against me. And gravity wants to bring me down.
The Bad Thing by Arctic Monkeys

Cause I can totally see that.

Chocolate Factory by R. Kelly

I liked the first one a lot better.

Angels by Robbie Williams

Oooh. That would be pretty nice.

I sit and wait; does an angel contemplate my fate?
I know that life won't break me when I come to call. She won't forsake me. I'm loving angels instead. When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a one-way street, I look above and I know I'll always be blessed with love. 
Watch Me by Jay-Z

Again, probably inappropriate for a funeral.

I Swear by Boyz II Men

Slightly amusing, seeing as I don’t.

Gone by U2

Makes slight sense. More so than Isn’t She Lovely, at least.

The Miracle by Queen

You see, I’m actually Superman. I just don’t like people to know cause then everyone would want my autograph even more than they do already, and they would also know about my cross-dressing habit.

I’ll Get You by The Beatles

Optimism. I will get it.

Where’d You Go by Fort Minor

I know you’re still here. You guys are still supersonic.

Wild Honey Pie by The Beatles

Or not.

The next morning…
Being now.

So we’ve been going on a bit of a Speak Now frenzy, which makes me miss Fearless. Which is different to Speak Now, but generally speaking, I think it’s the better album. It works together as an album more. Although hats off to T-Swizzle for writing the whole of Speak Now by herself.

Hey Stephen makes my heart hurt. Nice finger snapping.

I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you.
Thank you to everyone who texted/Facebooked/emailed me before and after my recital. I think it went fairly well, and if it didn’t, I threw everything I had into it, and that’s all I can ask of myself. And if anyone asks any more, well, I can’t do much about it.

Thanks for all the support. Or as Asian drama girl said last night...well I can't type it cause it's in Chinese. And I can't. I shall get Julia to do it.

if youre sad
im happy to be sad with you


I wish you were sine squared and I was cosine squared, so together we'd make one


Thursday, October 28

chasing the sun

So Speak Now came out, and I've been playing it on repeat quite excessively. It makes me want to cry. Back To December is just depressing. As is If This Was A Movie. Would blog extensively, but has already been done by two people I know, so that's enough coverage. Nearly cried to it on the train, which would have been rather embarrassing. And many other songs. Someone said Mine was optimistic. It is, and that's sorta what makes it sad. It's that depressing happiness, like the year 12s leaving, or our last music class. Looking forward. It reminds me of Slide Away.

I dream of you and we talk of growing old. But you said, "please don't"
Although the emotion is slightly more amped up in the following:

We'll find a way of chasing the sun
Go the guy who can drum and play tambourine at the same time. I wish either of them would release an album already. I miss Noel's music. And I love how effortlessly he plays guitar. And the fact that he writes incredibly easy chord progressions. His fingers are barely moving.

I also love his leather jacket look. I think he's what got me into leather jackets. Someone said mine looked like a bikie thing...hmm.
I never worry - now that is a's hard to believe there's nobody out there. It's hard to believe that I'm all alone. 
Edit: There was meant to be a video here of Under The Bridge, but I can't embed it. Sigh. So read the following as though you did have access to the video.

I had no idea Red Hot Chili Peppers man looked like that. Or acted that strangely. However, I love it when he mouths "boom" when the drums kick in. His range is a little small. And he did start out as a rapper. HIs hair is a bit long. Nice song though. So chill.

I'm watching as I'm blogging. He's doing some sort of Baywatch run. Showing off how ripped he is. And his hair is swooshing around. Interesting.

Speaking of ripped. Nadal. Thought I'd put that in there cause Zoe and I had a bit of a Nadal obsession moment yesterday. Damn, I want to meet him. Crown stalking it is.

Unfortunately I can't find the official video, if there is one. So live shall have to do. Her stage presence/actions are sorta a bit nyeh. It's better when she has a guitar. It looks cooler then. 

Monday, October 25

always look on the bright side

I love the sun.

I love that my Sesame Street tank top still fits.

I love being vice-captain to Catriona.

I love not having exams (yes, I have them. We can all dream)

I love not being too Huang up over things.

I love the sounds of my sister playing piano upstairs whilst I am waiting for her to finish so I can practice.

I love that Speak Now came out today, although I don't love the fact that I will have to wait to download it because our peak usage for net is at 86%, and we still have six days to go. However, I am glad that it is out so I can finally get Mine. Although I'll probably wait until after recital to listen to it.

I love the tingly ideas I'm getting for birthdays and Christmas. Especially my brother's 21st.

I love listening to Summerboy while I'm studying.

I love the excitement I'm getting over ideas for the music program for next year.

I love that I don't feel too badly about how exams went, although we have still yet to come to French.

I love watching Bear Grylls as part of the French legion, no matter what my English teacher's opinion of him is.

I love Mahi because we're going to be out of the loop together. And we can ahahahahah together too.

I love that Alice has since joined Mahi and I. And has gone to consume some fruit.

I love sitting here at 8:35pm in a white dress which is pretty damn fantastic, even if I do say so myself. And that my lovely mother has fixed it so it is no longer see-through. I am very tempted to wear it tomorrow, but I don't think it's quite hot enough yet to rate white summer dresses. So I shall wait for Speech Night rehearsals or something.

Sunday, October 24

good day, and special day

No, the title is not a grammatical error.

Well, technically it is. But let's just say that it wasn't a mistake on my part, and that it was highly deliberate for me to act fob. I have a t-shirt which I bought from Hong Kong which says "today is good day and special day". It has a picture of a dog on it too. It's become somewhat of a semi-trademark.

So, yesterday was a good day, and a special one too. And do you want to know why it was good and special? Cause I went to school. Going to school and spending two and a half hours with Lydia and Mr Chua did more for my mood than I could've thought possible, and more than anything else has done for the past couple of days, including just resolutely blasting optimism from my iPod. It gave me a confidence kick, it was fun (yes, going to school on a Saturday is FUN kids), and afterwards we bought Healthy Cup, an experience which taught me that taro and yam is the same it my fault I'm not very Asian?

So I feel pretty good about music. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't care about the score, but I'm not overly worried about it. Que sera sera, and secondly, I've had fun this year, and I've learnt a lot. For me, that's more important. Or I shall think it so otherwise I'll just become thoroughly depressed if I don't get over 40.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst

Her voice is a little bit dodgy on the higher notes, but the music is awesome. I love the Lord of the Rings score. 
Frodo heard a sweet singing running in his mind: a song that seemed to come like a pale light behind a grey rain-curtain, and growing stronger to turn the veil all to glass and silver, until a last it was rolled back, and a far green country opened before him under a swift sunrise. 

Saturday, October 23

The stuff we did and the good times - thank you

To my darling year 12s,

Play the following clip first and set the atmosphere.
No, it’s not the final time we will see each other for something which is school related – we’ve still got exams, Speech Night and rehearsals, and I would say final assembly, except that sadly, I won’t be attending. And there will be subsequent and appropriate blog posts for those events.

However, this one will get the ball rolling. And the first thing I want to say is thank you. Seeing as a large portion of you are musically-inclined, and as I met you as a result of said musical-inclination, this will be largely music related.

Thank you for making me a part of the family, especially for those kids who took me in at the end of year nine, who Facebook-stalked me, that piano family who I’ve had such fun times with for the past two years or so for which I’ve known you. It’s slightly daunting having to lead what remains, and what will always remain, of your legacy. Slightly frightening to be the oldest (although we all know Shuyu was nowhere near the oldest. Ever). But we will try. Thank you for inviting me into that world in the first place.

It’s been amazing making music with you guys for the past two years (I won’t count most of year nine cause I didn’t actually know anyone then, which is something I missed out on). There’s something in performing, in creating something with other people that just can’t be found anywhere else. Yes, I’m getting lame and cliché, but clichés have to start from some grain of truth. And it’s only because so many people realise it as a truth that it becomes cliché.

That adrenalin rush of performing, the embarrassment of screwing up, the elation after something so perfectly successful that you just want to play it over and over. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of that. It’s something which I myself will miss once I leave, and I’ll miss having you guys around to be a part of it.

Above all, there are a few which I would like to give a shout out to. Flic, you mentorship and guidance, and how you freak out and manage to coordinate everything anyway. It’s slightly amusing watching you freak out with such vehemence. Ange, you popping out to have that short walk down the stairs after I’ve had spesh, that randomly walking up to me and going “SRASHIIIEEEE. SEND ME ALMOND. ALMOND”. You really are a very grandmotherly figure.

And Lydia, my piano buddy, aunt turned adoptive-mother, who will most likely never read this because she doesn’t “EVER GO ON FACEBOOK. LIKE, EVER”, so I’ll assume she’s not really into blogs either. But, wow, my music buddy, you are amazing. I’ve enjoyed music so damn much because you’ve been in my class, because of that crazy passion you throw into it. Le Bal was amazing, and it was one of the best musical experiences I’ve ever had. It’s one of those performances you want to repeat again and again. Although we probably shouldn’t, cause then would make us tire of it, which may lead us to further radical changes beyond the dramatisation of the intro. But that’s beside the point. The point is, you’re amazing. That’s the point.

You’re all amazing, especially those kids for whom those two rows of seats behind the piano are reserved at Speech Night rehearsals who I haven’t mentioned. Anna, Shuyu. Thank you for the fun and good times, for those crazy insane bits. For your offers of tutorship, Shuyu. I remember walking to Middle School Soirée in year nine and singing the Speech Night medley at the top of our lungs like drunkards.

I remember screwing up so badly at Speech Night at year nine, but no one thought any worse of me, and that was the best which that shy little year nine with the could have ever asked from anyone.

I remember all those epic piano ensembles of Ms Mik’s, and playing Three Blind Mice which was absolutely crazy. Romeo and Juliet and that frantic changing to vibraphone.

I remember that picnic, that perfect day sitting on the grass in the “hammer-throw-man-park”, eating chicken and laughing at Mandy’s “scones”, and that melting cake.

I remember Wednesday, with us all crying because we never wanted to let go. And those excited texts which followed after we found out the results.

Thank you for letting me share that excitement with you.

The piece is from Up, which you may have deduced from the balloons and footage and stuff which I assume will be on the clip as soon as I find it. If said images are not present, apologies. It’s called Stuff We Did, which is rather appropriate. Looking back, and going forward. So as the final strains of the music die away (I hope they haven’t died away yet. And that you aren’t a quick reader and therefore the music has only just reached its peak), I wish you all the best. You’re all incredibly talented people, and you will go far.

My love goes to you all. And I will most likely see you very soon. But I felt it was appropriate, seeing as the year 12s’ last day is all over the internet, blogs, Facebook and such. And I did need to say thank you.

Thank you.

Friday, October 22

Because...there's more

And my head keeps spinning, I can't stop having these visions. I gotta get with it.
Stupid hayfever makes my head feel like a sponge

In keeping with the because theme.

Because I'm too damn stubborn.
Because I have rather decent self-control, even if I do say so myself. Although I guess this is a testament to me losing that control. However, I have learned to direct it down particular streams, so that it doesn't spill over the banks and drown everything in a tidal wave of destruction and chaos. What a metaphor. Is it a metaphor? I get so confused between metaphors, analogies and similes. I shall go clean my room and cease this rambling prattle now.
How do you spell love? 
You don't spell it... you feel it.
I love Pooh Bear. And you too, Mahi.

Just flicked through many albums of my old drawings looking for the one which I'm pretty sure was of Naruto, but not sure because it was so many years ago. It just interested me is all. I may start properly reading it after exams. Not now. I've only read volume two, and I know that if I start now, then I'll spend too much time vegetating in front of the computer, as per previous experience with Bleach. So afterwards.

Anyway, I was flicking through all the drawing pads, and some of them were quite amusing. I saw a few of Maple characters which I did that weren't half bad. And watercolour. Damn I want to start drawing and doing watercolours again.

Wednesday, October 20


Because I don't want to spend my time tapping out an essay which is a few thousand words, which I will then feel guilty for because I've wasted my time. Although I've wasted enough of it already by jumping on MSN when the person I jumped on MSN for offline messaged me 22 minutes prior, when I was reading. And then she left. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, and I'm sorry I kept you waiting for nothing. 

Because I've been listening to Kanye, who has some rather awesome summery music which is guaranteed to lift you up, even if it's only for the few minutes when it's playing. I have compiled a summer playlist (yes, it's still spring), consisting of quite a few people, including said aforementioned Kanye, Jay, Lady GaGa, Oasis (always perfect for a sunny, invincible day), Usher, and various others. 

Because the year 12s are amazing, and deserve a longer post than this to tell them that. I shall do that on the weekend. When I'm not hanging around school like a nerd. 

Because I want to talk about that interesting article in the mx I read the other day, which I forgot about and subsequently remembered, and I won't get enough time to talk about it. 

Because I also have another blog post planned from something I picked up off Bec Tee's blog. 

Because I should do some French grammar forward slash revs notes forward slash English analysis, yet I have left my French grammar book at school. However, I am revving myself up to do revs. Soon. Ish.

Because I'm listening to Let's All Make Believe, which consists of some rather edgy augmented chords, as I discovered when I looked in the little black Oasis songbook of my brother's, which I suspect is highly unofficial.

Because I felt that I wasted enough time walking around the city this morning. Well, not really walking around the city. I walked down Bowen Crescent for the first time in ages, cause I got to Domain when it wasn't even 7:30, so I took a detour to school. However, detour did not work, as I still have to wait outside in the cold for a further seven or so minutes.  

Because I'm too chuffed to want to feel otherwise. Catriona, you and I are gonna rock this party.

That's you and me Cat. Down to the awesome tuning. Well, awesome tuning on my part. You're much better at it. I wish I could get in tune just by doing that: "A, A, A. G, G, G."  
Creepy melody. Thought it would be appropriate, as it is entitled "Because".

Above reasons are why I shall not blog extensively and deeply.

Saturday, October 16

of Melbourne weather

There's something bout the way the street looks when it's just rained; there's a glow off the pavement WHICH BLINDS MY EYES CAUSE THE SUN JUST CAME OUT AFTER A WHOLE NIGHT OF HAIL/TORRENTIAL RAIN. Crazy stuff woke me up three times during what I am sure would have otherwise been a very pleasant sleeping experience. Also destroyed my umbrella, the one of awesomeness, purpleness and domeness. I shall attempt to fix it using string. My mother bent it back into shape, and I will later attempt to revive it by wrapping copious amounts of string around it in a bid to not let it bend in on itself again.

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something
Ahh, the monkey.
I want to turn the whole thing upside down, or find the things they say just can't be found.
I was just flicking through my old Pallases (plural of Pallas; Palli?), and I realised that I haven't seen some people in a while. They either left Macrob, or I have been completely unobservant this year, and I only remembered them when I looked back and went "oh yeah. They exist."

Sometime during the past couple of months, I have turned into a problem child. Literally, a problem.

Friday, October 15

helas (= alas, in French)

Dear blogreader,

Alas, we are nearing the exam period. I have had two deep and meaningfuls which I have been meaning to produce, yet I cannot find the time/internet usage is higher than usual this month, and I didn’t want to keep going on the internet. Although I guess I could’ve just typed it up in word, like I am doing now. Alas, I have also forgotten one of the topics. I will remember. Maybe.

Happy birthday Vivien. I hope you enjoyed the extremely dodgy rendition of Awake. Dodgy to the point where I only sang a verse and chorus cause my mind went blank. I got nervous. Performing solo makes me nervous. Not to mention I didn’t know the song at all. Chord progressions, I detest thee. I hope you enjoyed everything. You will get your big present eventually. Despite what I may or may not show, I love you. I hope your day was filled with happiness, and I hope that all your days after are too.

I should go do some methods now. After I finish this.

It has been hectic recently. But it all turned out better than I expected. Now I just have to get past all those little things called exams. I should go memorise stuff as well. Does anyone else feel as though there is just not enough time? I find that I am incapable of studying past ten at night, unlike other dedicated people who sleep at one or something. I just can’t do it. My brain shuts down. Which means I am quite behind on memorising a lot of stuff because piano usually takes me to about eight. Recital in two weeks.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
Also: what do people call L3? I call it the music suite. However, Mr Chua told me he had never heard anyone say it before last night, when I said it. But Cat says it too. What does everyone else call it? Although, now I think about it, it doesn’t really make much sense to call it a music suite.

Voting for school leaders is now taking place. Should be interesting. Here's hoping.

Son, do you know what I’m stopping you for?
Cause I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low? Do I look like a mindreader, sir? I dunno.
Hilarity. The blanking out of the expletives rather detracts from the flow of the song, but what can one do when one tries to maintain a family friendly blog.

Spring Soirée last night was amusing. After band, I decided to go on Neopets. Apparently Angela had the same idea, as I heard her say as she walked past the computer room. So Julia, Angela and I spent some time on Neopets instead of doing something productive. Although I did end up doing about half an hour of revs afterwards. Alright, about twenty minutes. But I did do something.

This morning when I went to grab Anton from the consultation room, there was a sprig (bunch?) of fake flowers (see why I called it a sprig?) on top of him. Where did they come from?

The wraiths are gone on Neo. I didn’t even get to my killing cap for the Brutes and the Furies. Damn. Hopefully they come back. In the meanwhile, I shall continue to train up my Meerca in the hope that this plot is rewarding. I am spending way too much money on a combination of codestones and weaponry, and I have no income because I don't play the games, my stocks are all failing, and I can't be bothered managing my shop.
I wish I could have lived in a kind world. Without anxiety. Without fear. Without hurting other people. Without being hurt myself. Only doing the right things.
I wish I could have followed the shortest path, to the kind world I wish for. “That’s wrong.” “That’s stupid.” When it comes to other people’s lives, you can say that kind of irresponsible dreck as much as you want.
I wish I could’ve lived my life without making any wrong turns. But that’s impossible. A path like that doesn’t exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost.
We make mistakes.
And little by little, one step at a time, we push forward.
It’s all we can do. On our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up. Someday, we’ll reach something. We’ll reach someone. We pray.
I didn’t realise that was going to be that long. Taken from volume the twenty-first of Fruits Basket. When one sees text in manga form, it appears a lot shorter. I haven’t actually read the series in order, ever. It’s on my list of books to buy when I have loads of money. Or just when I have money which is my own. While on the subject of manga, Bleach is getting lame. Stupid, dodgy not being able to see stuffness.

Anyway, I like that quote; it stuck with me since the first time I read it. Because making mistakes is human, even though that sounds, and probably is, cliché. No one can be right all the time, no one can do right all the time. And even though I wish I had always felt what was “right”, I had always done what was right by others, what’s done is done. We can only change what’s in front of us.
Come on. It’s time to start walking.

Thursday, October 14

all we seem to know

All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong

Tuesday, October 12

don't you shiver

So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention do you? And I know you don't listen to me, cause you say you see straight through me, don't you? 
Again from the Coldplay album of awesomeness.  Chris Martin has to be one of the weirdest looking guys around. But his voice. His damn voice is ridiculous. The best singers have weird, weird voices.

Current playlist looks something like this:
Shiver - Coldplay
Tell Me Why - Taylor Swift
99 Problems - Jay-Z
Mardy Bum - Arctic Monkeys
Through With You - Maroon 5
Not Coming Home - Maroon 5
Tangled - Maroon 5
Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5
Whatever - Oasis
Forever & Always (Acoustic) - Taylor Swift
Shiver - Maroon 5

Yes, there are two Shivers on there. They're different. Also:
Fly away, oh my zephyr. I feel it more than ever, and in this perfect weather we'll find a place together

Wednesday, October 6

Songs about Adam Levin's ex-girlfriend. Therefore, songs about a girl.

Finally done. So rewind this to about an hour ago and it'll make more sense.
Sitting here listening to Songs About Jane. Cause it’s just such an awesome. And there seem to be many lines which speak to me at the moment.

Oh, it’s pouring. Again. It poured as I walked out of school. Got drenched. On the day I didn’t bring a proper umbrella. It never rained that hard when I walked out of school during winter, when I had my umbrella most of the time. Was usually pathetic drizzling though. So it decided to absolutely bucket on me when I walked out. Was ridiculous.

And of course, sunshine when I was on the train. Then started raining again at 3:30; hometime for the little primary school ones.

So I shall stick a song line from every song here. In album order. So this is gonna take a while. I expect this post up in an hour, because going through the album’s probably gonna take about an hour. I have no idea of how long it actually is, cause I have some doubles and different versions of things. The time is currently 7:46pm. I am listening to This Love. Which I have already listened to; doubles, see?

Maybe several songlines from some songs. Cause some need them.
How dare you say that my behaviour’s unacceptable? “So condescending, so unnecessarily critical”.
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I’m even here; the double vision I was seeing has finally cleared. 
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love. You’ll understand what I mean when I say there’s no way we gonna give up.
Is there anyone out there? Cause it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
What you were doing was screwing things up inside my head. You should know better, you never listen to what I said.
- Harder To Breathe

I went to laugh, but cried instead
Making use of all this time, keeping everything inside. Closed my eyes and listened to you cry.
“This is not goodbye,” she said. “It’s just time for me to rest my head.” She does not. Well, she runs instead.
There’s only so much I can do for you, after all the things that you put me through
- Must Get Out

When you refuse me you confuse me
I would do anything to end your suffering. But you would rather walk away.
- Not Coming Home

Everyone has a secret, but can they keep it? I don’t think so.
- Secret

 Alright, so that one spoke to me less. But I couldn't just exclude it could I?

He was always there to help her; she always belonged to someone else
It’s not always rainbows, and butterflies. It’s compromise. It moves us along.
- She Will Be Loved

You build me up, you knock me down. Provoke a smile and make me frown. You are the queen of runaround; you know it’s true. You chew me up, you spit me out. Enjoy the taste I leave in your mouth. You look at me, I look at you. Neither of us know what to do. There may not be another way into your heart, so I guess I better find a new way in. And I shiver when I hear your name, think about you but it’s not the same. Won’t be satisfied ‘til I’m under your skin. Immobilised by the thought of you, paralysed by the sight of you, hypnotised by the words you say; not true but I believe them anyway.
- Shiver

And I cannot remember what life was like through photographs
Sometimes it’s a sad song. But I cannot forget, refuse to regret, somehow I met you and take my breath away, make every day worth all of the pain that I have gone through. And momma I’ve been crying cause things ain’t how they used to be, she said, “the battle’s almost won. And we’re only seven miles from the sun.” Now moving along, down my street, see people I won’t ever meet.
- The Sun

I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew that someday, it would lead me back to you.
- Sunday Morning

Where you are seems to be as far as an eternity
- Sweetest Goodbye

Sometimes I wonder if I disappear would you ever turn your head and look? See if I’m gone. Cause I fear there is nothing left to say to you that you want to hear, that you wanna know. I think I should go; all the things I’ve done are way too shameful. And I’ve done you so wrong, treated you bad, strung you along, oh shame on myself. I don’t know how it got so tangled.
- Tangled

So hard to keep her satisfied; kept playing love like it was just a game
- This Love

Can you see me? Floating above your head as you lay in bed thinking about everything that I did not do, cause saying “I love you” has nothing to do with meaning it. And I don’t trust you. Cause every time you’re here, your intentions are unclear I spend every hour waiting for a phone call that I know will never come.
Now I’m sick of thinking anything at all.
And how long has it been since someone you let in has given what I gave to you?
- Through With You

And while I was playing the outro to The Sun, Restaurant City music started invading it. It was fading away nicely. Then I was greeted by bloo doom. Bloo doom. Boom, bloo doom.

Lovely riff.

And I also wish to quote: sick intro riff to Shiver.

Tuesday, October 5

words of wisdom

I just played the acoustic Forever and Always again. Closed iTunes cause it seems to be stuck in my head and it is just too depressing. Hurts...somewhere in my heart. And I don't know why.
And you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
In other news, listening to excessive amounts of Maroon 5.
Wake you up in the middle of the night to say, "I will never walk away again. I'm never gonna leave this bed"
How annoying. He randomly wakes you up in the middle of the night when he could've told you in the morning.
Take it, take it all, take all that I have. Give it all away just to get you back.
In other other news, I got my red Aviators. They are very rock 'n' roll. In the extreme.

Hmm. Unreliable people in terms of birthday presents. Annoying. Always annoying when people are unreliable. But I shall be patient and understanding and tolerant...or I'll try.


The point of this post is:
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, "let it be". And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom: let it be...and when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, let it be. 
I'm sorry I forgot that. So I hope you all fill your heads with images of me tossing some sort of dark rain cloud out of the window.

Or maybe just suppressing it like the Bolsheviks suppressed Russia, and eventually it'll evaporate. The rain cloud that is. Not Russia.
You pushed me. I don't have the strength to resist or control you; you cut me down.
Does it kill does it burn, is it painful to learn that it's me who has all the control?
Adam Levine, the one of many different personas. Then again, he's a musician. Come to think of it, then again, he's human.

Now I've got Harder To Breathe stuck in my head.
How dare you say that my behaviour's unacceptable? So condescending, unnecessarily critical. I have a tendency of getting very physical, so watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle. You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here. The double vision I was seeing has finally cleared. You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone, not fit to frickin tread the ground that I am walking on. When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love.You'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we gonna give up. Like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in a dream. Is there anyone out there? Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.
Such vengeance, Maroon 5 man.

Sunday, October 3


God this thing is depressing. Her voice is so much more fragile. I love acoustic things. They bring out a completely different side of the music. 
And you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
And although I have written the revs essay, I haven't done anything else. I would have had I not been sick. Still sick. Extremely dodgy time to get sick.

Daylight saving stole my hour of sleep/work. Although because of sickness, I don't feel like working. I hate being sick.

Why are there so many flies around? I'm trying to type revs notes here, and this one fly keeps flying round and round in circles around my head. Very annoying. If you want to fly, at least have the decency to do so in silence. I caught three huge ones last night while I was typing the revs essay. It was disgusting. Those rich capitalist flies. This one's a poor peasant fly I think; it's smaller. Although I can't really tell cause he's going round and round so much. And if he's starved and malnourished, why is he zipping around with such energy? Alright, he's a capitalist fly too.

Saturday, October 2

what's the story

Happy fifteenth birthday to (What's The Story) Morning Glory?, one of the greatest albums which were ever created. Has Wonderwall and Don't Look Back In Anger on it. Enough said.

Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever blogged this video before. 
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
P.S.: The embedding on this one doesn't work either. Shame.


Alright, here's the gameplan:

Sarah's first part of working is three hours of piano, with probably a break for lunch. That will most likely take me to about 1:30/2pm.

Then I need to:

Finish my revs notes for SAC
Write practice essay
Finish music summary notes
Rewrite English and send to tutor
Finish reflection on English
Write up another draft for English
Music campaign poster

Which will then leave me time to maybe do more piano, and also aural. And find the music for Old Wine In New Bottles which I forgot to practice cause I didn't have the music lying around to remind me.

Which will then leave me tomorrow to freak out about aural, which I will then most likely do. And some practice.

Here's to the silence that cuts me to the core
Forever And Always. Accoustically. The awesomes.

And despite the huge list of work, it is actually doable if I try. Cause most of it's half-finished anyway.

Off to...I need to name my piano. Off to the piano.

After I finish this Strepsil and brush my teeth. Lovely time to get sick. Last two days of holidays, and SAC on Tuesday. Wonderful. Although it hasn't progressed beyond a sore throat and some sniffles which I've had for a while anyway. Let's hope it doesn't.

Update at 1:14pm
Didn't work. Only managed one and a half hours of piano before I brawled at 11:30 instead. And now Michelle's jamming away so no piano for me.

This sick business is getting worse. My head is all stuffy. Gah.

I also cannot find the piano version of Forever And Always. I want to have it blasting through my speakers. Now. Need to get it off my brother's computer. Now. Now.

Did the piano. Or the large bulk of it.

However, my motivation to work is quickly dissipating. My head's starting to lose all coherence. That doesn't even make any sense. See?

Friday, October 1

What is to be done: Part II

Well, revs notes are to be done. And I am in the process of doing them. I currently have 19 words.

Music notes are also to be done, and I'm having a strange and indecent amount of fun doing them. To the point where Julia called me an Asian Hermione. I think the crazy rainbow colouring got me a bit excited.

But the point of this post was to update my list of to-dos after year 12. After a short convo with Viv, I had discovered that I must learn HTML coding. Add that to the list.


Two seconds after my most recent post, I wished to add to this by saying that I want to bake as well.

Wednesday, September 29

lolcakes for breakfast

When I woke this morning, I found the following on my Facebook:

Well, not when I woke. After I ate breakfast and stuff.

For Viv and Julia who may feel jibbed by my brother hacking into my account, thanks anyway (well, not hacking. I did forget to log off his computer. But wait...I thought I did. Memory lapse). It's amusing to think that two people would assure me if I ever posted an emo status update.

Makes me sort of glad I've never posted an emo status pathetic would it look if only two people commented? Usually people get floods of "u ok?"s and "inbox me babes ♥"s.

I'm glad you two are more original than that.

And I'm glad that there are two people who would do that for me. So if you feel terrible for being jibbed, don't. Thank you.

I, however, am actually fine.

It was amusing playing around with the different blurs on Photoshop.

Tuesday, September 28

product of lethargy, procrastination, and back pains. GYKEN.

So I decided that yes, I was going to stick up my top 25. I was going to edit it into my last post, but then I decided to annotate it, and realised that I was going to have to tag all the artists, as well as "quotes", "songlines" and "music♫", so I decided to give it a blog post of its own.

Now to properly annotate, or to just write up a songline from each?

Can't be bothered explaining it all, cause some of them don't really have any explanation. I just go through some phases where I listen to things over and over again.

1. Song Cry
I can't see 'em comin' down my eyes, so I gotta let this song cry 
I can understand why you want a divorce now, but I can't let you know it, pride won't let me show it, pretend to be heroic 
I'll mourn forever. S***. I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever. 
2. Papers
Every time I listen to this, the little synth thing attracts my attention far too much. This song made me think that Raymond V Raymond was going to be absolutely epic. My dreams came crashing's not bad. Just...I miss 8701. Yeah, there's a lot to quote from this one.
I'm sitting 'round town and my friends can't recognise me. Cause I took a chance on love; it's like I'm dying 
I done turn in to the man I never thought I'd be 
I ain't afraid to say I got needs 
I'm tired of sleepin' in that other room spendin' all them long nights tryna figure out what the hell in my heart I ain't do right. For you I gave my heart and turned my back against the world, because you were my girl.
3. Sparks
Very nice. Absolutely no development, but it just floats along. From Coldplay's best album, in my opinion.
Did I drive you away? Cause I know what you'll say. You'll say, "Oh. Sing one you know".
I just realised that this post is going to be veeeeryyy big. And it's the third one today. Oh dear. I think there's a direct correlation between me not wanting to work, and the amount of times I blog.

4. Wonderwall
When this appears, half of me feels like covering my iPod in shame, the other half wants to go "I LOVE THIS SONG. AND THIS ONE. AND THIS ONE. I ACTUALLY KNOW AN OASIS SONG OTHER THAN WONDERWALL. IN YOUR FACE". Yeah, it's so overplayed it's not funny, but it never gets old for me. The songlines hit me every time. Sometimes it's incredibly hopeful and loving, other times it's downright depressing. That's what I love about it.
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
5. Can U Help Me?
don't wanna be on the outside lookin' in
6. U Got It Bad
when you feel it in your body you found somebody who makes you change your ways 
7. Everybody Knows
Because it's just so true.
Everybody knows, but nobody really knows, how to make it work, or how to ease the hurt. We've heard it all before, and everybody knows, just how to make it right...everybody knows. But nobody really knows. 
8. She Will Be Loved
Maroon 5's first album is also the best one.
tap on my window, knock on my door I wanna make you feel beautiful
9. Without U
Probably appears on my list because I often play it in conjunction with Can U Help Me? cause the chimes from the end of Without U flows on to the beginning of the other.
I am so alone and I can't stand this feeling of being without you 
10. Breathe
never wanted this, never want to see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. 
God this is becoming huge.

11. You Belong With Me
These counts came from those few days where I played it on repeat endlessly.  See here.
I know your favourite songs and you tell me bout your dreams
12. Halo
The acoustic version off Hope for Haiti Now. Breaks my heart. Nice piano playing Chris Martin.
hit me like a ray of sun 
13. Doesn't Mean Anything
Bit too heavy on the bass drum, and drums in general, but nice. Go A Keys.
I know I pushed you away. What can I do that will save our love? 
14. Empire State Of Mind
Another song which makes me want to cringe from seeming too mainstream, but hey, sometimes the general public does get it right.
off-white Lexus 
Only at number 14. Long ways to go yet, precious.

15. Talk Tonight
I forget when this happened, but I did play it heaps for a while. Made me feel very English. I remember walking in the rain to GJ's, water pounding off my umbrella, and feeling as though I was walking in England.
I'll never say that I won't ever make you cry, and this I'll say and I don't know why. I know I'm leaving - but I'll be back another day. 
16. U Remind Me
Completely random and I have no idea what to quote from it cause it is a situation which I do not know...
the thing about you that caught my eye is the same thing that makes me change my mind 
17. Hate
This song just makes me laugh
I fly daily like I'm in the air force
18. Don't Look Back In Anger
The most nonsensical yet sensical (...) song of all time (and Chrome just verified that sensical is not a real word). Full of brilliant one-liners which don't make any sense as an entity, but do at the same time. It's one of the songs of his which made me realise that lyrics don't have to make sense; it's the emotions which the words evoke, the atmosphere they set up.
One of my dreams was to be jumping up and down in a crowd of ten thousand belting this up at Noel Gallagher. Doesn't look like it's going to be realised. It's sounds like a soccer song.
slip inside the eye of your mind, don't you know you might find a better place to play?
19. Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)
Oops, I skipped this by accident. This song is also amusing, and should have been bigger than OMG. One of my brother's friends though it was about Usher's kids...hrrrm. Just cause it goes
you know yo daddy's home, and it's time to play
Again, not a song I can empathise with, but it makes me want to jump up and down.

20. Young Forever
One of the most blatantly optimistic songs of all time, as evidenced by the following line:
may the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows; but we ain't even thinkin' that far yet
21. Speechless
Oh good, 21. We're almost there.
could we fix you if you broke? 
22. Goodnight Goodnight
I just want to quote the whole song.
So much to learn, so much to learn, but I won't be there to teach you. I know I can't be close, but I try my best to reach you, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to hurt my little girl. It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world.  
23. Slide Away
The song which should have been a single, but Noel thought that six might be a bit much for a debut album.
don't know, don't care, all I know is that you can take me there
24. The Scientist
One of two songs which I can play on the piano.
you don't know how lovely you are  
And finally...

25. Run This Town
I keep doing my own thing, walkin' tall against the rain
I just looked up the lyrics, and realised how amazing Jay is at rhyming words which just should not be rhymed with each other. But hey, it works for him, although it does make him slightly incoherent, hence me having to look up lyrics.

The end. I wonder how much space this will take up...