Tuesday, January 31

There is a little bit missing
Just here
Right there
Though, if it was never there in the first place
(which is never was, save perhaps for foolish teenage dealings)
It's not so much "miss" ing
For something needs to be there
To be able to be missed

My eyes are sorta really droopy at the moment. Running on four hours of sleep. Thinking too much, though not really bad thinking as just sorta pensive thinking. Sleepy. Gonna go sleep now.

Monday, January 30

26th January 2012

26th January 2012

Quality a little dodgy cause I scanned it as a pdf instead of jpeg, which I have discovered is better for scanning pictures with. 

December 2011

December 2011

Some date I can't remember...

10th December 2011

10th December 2011

11th December 2011

11th December 2011

30th October 2011

30th October 2011

26th October 2011

26th October 2011

16th August 2011

16th August 2011

1st February 2011

1st February 2011

27th February 2011

27th February 2011

30th January 2011

30th January 2011

So Nadal lost

But apparently it's one of those good losses, where he didn't lose so much as the other guy winning. Yep. He sounded pretty calm about this loss (or at least what I can glean from reading his presser), so that's good.
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same
At least he wasn't in tears like he was after French Open. Well, he wasn't crying. He just looked very close to it when he was talking to the media.

Best poem. Ever. 

Apparently Nadal had trouble understanding what he was reading. Fair enough. But the Spanish accent. Unf. "If you can daream, but not make dareams your master."

And Federer, I never noticed, has a strange-ish accent as well. He always just sounded vaguely American to me...

Anyway. I'm sorta sleepy. Four and a half hours sleep. That's going to be telling once I hit 9 o'clock tonight. But for the moment, not too bad. I've worked it out so that I get one free day in uni. Stupid lectures which are only available on one day.


Not too sure why I just uploaded all my pictures. Probably cause it's fun. I'm getting hungry. Melbourne Uni portal isn't working. Typical.


Dear Introductory Microeconomics,

So, you're, like, a tool, yeah? I'll give you no authorisation and unexpected errors.

Kind regards,



Oh the amusement. They're both completely zoned out. Djokovic had to prod Rafa a couple of times with the water bottle before he realised that he was being prodded. I love the simultaneous stretching, and then Djokovic squatting while Nadal casually sits on the net. 

Friday, January 27

Z-ring (for want of a better title)

I feel slightly nauseous. I think it's a combination of getting six to seven of hours of sleep (which is actually pretty decent), having stared at the computer all day, eaten bread, yoghurt and several nectarines in the past couple of hours, and an excess of thinking. Too much thinks. I really need uni to start soon. But then once it does, I'll want the holidays to come again...

No, actually, I know what it is. It's that you want holidays during school so that you can have enough time to rest and be merry and study. Holidays without study are a little...aimless. Need to practise piano. My head feels funny. And my stomach. Hrm.

By the way, Nadal won (he, almost typed one). Yay.

I want, rather desperately, to hold someone's hand. Should stop reading fluffy nawsies manga and other such works of fiction. Makes me yearn for some fluffy nawsies of my own.

Got a letter which I wrote to myself back in year nine, for me at the end of the year 12. It said something along the lines of "I want a boyfriend but I know that one requires hard work and effort and stuff". Or words to that effect. Still think that way. Still want a hand to hold.

In other news, I got a ring, which has now been dubbed the Z-ring. Shall take a photo of it after I go set the table. It matches my watch. The purple one. And the ring. Not the table.


The Z-ring

And that is also my Baby-G which my parents got my birthday. The Z-ring is a combined birthday/Christmas present from my siblings dearests. 

Nothing to do, no one to be. Is it so hard to see? That I'm perfectly lonely, cause I don't belong to anyone, and nobody belongs to me. That's the way, that's the way, that's the way I want it. 

John Mayer writes some very nice melodies. 


Tomorrow: Alice's birthday, happy chill time with friends, then happy chill dinner with family and family friends who aren't really my friends but they're my parents friends so happy chill time all around. 

Sunday: Australian Open final with Nadal in it. Nuff said. 

Monday: happy chill time with more friends, this time of the one-year-older-than me variety, and the teacher variety. 

Tuesday: I believe I am seeing Noel Gallagher. Happy chill time with my brother and my idol. 

Thursday: my brother turns 22. Wow. Yoyo turns something along the lines of sixteen I have no brain power to work it. Out. I forgot the out. Embarrassing. 

Friday: Michelle starts school LOLZ*. 

*I don't usually spontaneously LOL at the end of a sentence. I just felt that it was appropriate there. 

Sunday, January 22

More and less than nothing

I know a place where we go to that could lead us back to home. I found a friend, made my heart full. We both were fools and so beautiful. Do you ever think that we could be the same? When I don't know you, and you don't know my name. Did we ever think that we could be this way? When all you are is more and less than nothing.

Regret is regret, what more is there to say? You were once my world, until it stopped spinning. And do you ever think that we could be the same? When I don't know you, and you don't know my name. And I don't think we can go back to where we came. Cause right now, you're more and less than nothing.

I don't know you, though I do know your voice. I don't know you, but I know when your smiles are fake. I don't know you. I still know what you love and hate. All your cares. All your rage. And you know me the same.

I'd thought I'd found a place where we'd go to that could lead us to a paper moon.

And do you ever think that we could be the same? When I don't know you, and you don't know my name. And how the hell did we come this way? To where all we are is more and less than nothing. And I wish we could just go back to the start again. Where I did not know you, nor your name. I wish that I could just find the place, where you meant a whole lot more than nothing.

Cause now all we are is more and less than nothing.

Tuesday, January 17

Listerine reduces me to tears

I also woke at 5 this morning, and proceeded to spend the next two hours watching Ouran on my phone. I'm cool.

And so begins another six years of laggy, poorly-designed, clunky school intranet.

Apparently it will take me "15-30 minutes" to enrol. Looking like it's going to be longer. Sigh. Why don't they ever make these things work?

Yep, took me half an hour to log in.

Guess what isn't working? Yeah. Melbourne Uni intranet.


Monday, January 16

Tomic beat Verdasco

...what the hell.

And of course, in times of dire need, MyInfo is down. Yay for VTAC and general organisations and stuff. You on the ball.

Sunday, January 15

I sort of want to read Hunger Games...

...just to see what it's all about. But frankly, the fandom looks really scary, to the point where it annoys me cause it's scary...

And the names annoy me.

I'm sorry to anyone I may have offended. Now to procure me some books.

Saturday, January 14

I need motivation


Quite excited for this year. Everything's new, but not so much a scary new anymore. Four years ago was a sort of scary new, but this is a less scary new. I think. I hope. 

Friday, January 13

Sorting through various cards and letters, the nostalgia in the air is thick. I don't want to forget certain things, it's just I'd rather not remember them.

I never realised how many cards from my old piano teacher I had accumulated over the years.

Tuesday, January 10

I just spent two and a half hours emailing people

Thirty-one law firms and one music director, to be precise. Let's hope I get some sort of return on this. I may continue later. I've already been rejected once. Must steel myself for more rejection.

On a side note, law firms have the longest and most confusing names...I came across one which was someone and someone with something and something lawyers. Or something like that. Mmm.


I must say, they are very prompt. That's another four rejections. Then again, who wants someone who has no work experience and isn't even doing law for the next three years...

I JUST WANT A JOB. Shall apply for other things once I get thirty-one rejections.


And the job doesn't end there...I have to thank them every time I get a rejection e-mail. So that's thirty-one rejection replies. And I feel as though I'm uncreative cause every single reply is the same. Must spice it up somehow...



Although one of them was kind enough to tell me to seek him after three years of studying law. Which is in another six years. Cool.


Sudden realisation came to me while I was daydreaming that my future boyfriend will definitely not look like a manga character. I think I only just realised that. Yep.

*cries in a corner*


...turns out I've been playing an A flat instead of an A natural in a piece which I stated learning at the end of year seven...oops. Three different teachers, and we never picked up on it in six years...

But the A flat does sound nicer. Probably cause I'm used to it now.


I feel like lying around and listening to heartbreaking music. And I'm not even heartbroken. Maybe I should do productive things instead. Such as watch asian drama. Yep. Producing stuff.

This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on. No one's gonna come and save us, we've set off too many false alarms. And you know that we're doomed, my dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room.
I actually wanna quote the whole song. My heart's breaking just sitting here listening to him sing. DON'T BE SO SAD JOHN MAYER.

Thursday, January 5

I have this weird throat achy thing going on

Apparently it's due to hayfever. It feels weird, cause it reminds me of the feeling you get when you want to cry. So I'm not altogether sure if it's only the hayfever. I'm tired and a little exhausted from so much thinking and stuff. It's alright most of the time. There are sorta three stages: ignorance and distraction, vague awareness in which it's more of a passing thought more than anything cause my day-to-day life hasn't been changed all that much, then active awareness in which I concentrate on the fact that this is my body, my mind is my own and it is real, and I realise. So most of the time I'm alright, cause I'm not actively thinking. I've been having weird thoughts, such as "why am I sad?" and stuff like that, but not in the usual context, where I know that it's just hormones and I'm being an emotional teenager, and I'm just frustrated that I can't control my mood swings better. This is more like, "what exactly is saddening about this?" and it seems simple, that it's just that the memories in your mind can never be made again, the totality of the fact that you can no longer pick up the phone and catch a tram. I still don't know if I am just tired. I mean, this particular change didn't affect my day-to-day life as much as the one a year ago. I haven't walked into that creaky house on Ashwood Grove for over a year. It had a nice smell. And the carpeted part was really creaky. And the back door was always stuck and made a really loud noise when you pushed it open. And the piano was usually too loud. The really extremely squishy couch on which I did my theory under the air conditioner. And this one's vague, but I think there used to be lollies on the table next to the window.