Sunday, October 31

Mishmash

Edit at 10:38am 31st October
Just a note to say that this was written yesterday morning. Being the 30th, when I actually had my recital. And that's why the time jumps around. That is all. Just bear that in mind as you commence reading. That, and the fact that the questions are from a note which is going around on Facebook.
...
So yeah, I have a recital. However, I shall chill before doing some lovely, steady, solid practice. I feel alright. And I felt like doing this just to see if it makes sense, cause I had a quick squiz of it last night, and none of the songs made any sense. Should be interesting.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Only The Ocean by Jack Johnson

Yep, definitely not going to make any sense.

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Lady Madonna by The Beatles

Oh dear.

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
All We Are by One Republic

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Gas Panic! by Oasis

I don't want to panic. STOP THE PANICKING. NOT THE TIME FOR PANIC.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Leave Me Alone by Michael Jackson

And not just any version, the acoustic version. How emo.

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
On and on by Jay Sean

I don't actually know this song. However, it is a nice motto.

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Mustapha by Queen

Don't know this one either. What is a Mustapha?

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Lost? by Coldplay

I hope not. Although they are questioning it, so hopefully they're not certain on that.

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
How by Maroon 5

Sorta makes sense.
Although I do not know the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die trying.
I would kill to get you back but how? 
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Can't Let Her Get Away by Michael Jackson


11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
2-4-6-8 by The Jackson 5

Yes, best friend of mine, whoever you are, I think of even numbers in association with you.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
F*** All Night by Jay-Z

I sincerely hope not. Really. That is nowhere near my life story. Why do you bring me down like this Jay?

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Dream by Michael Buble

Yes, I want to be someone’s dream. That wouldn’t be half bad.

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
U Got It Bad by Usher

Now that makes sense. Pity I don't like anyone, but this is the aptest thing so far.

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Roses by Kanye West

Hard to dance to rapping.


16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Holler If Ya' Hear Me by 2Pac

Don't know this one. However, it's probably highly inappropriate for a funeral.

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Heffalumps And Woozles from Winnie The Pooh

Hell yeah.


18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder

No, it's actually not my biggest fear.

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Friday Night by Lily Allen

Now you're all wondering what I do on a Friday night. I usually...go out with my family. Whoa. That's crazy.

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Lithium by Nirvana

Isn't that an element?

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Supersonic by Oasis

It's the live version, but it's still there. You guys are supersonic. Amazingly so.

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Breathe In, Breathe Out by Kanye West

Well, I won't, cause I'm a little bit rebellious like that. This is an interesting exercise. I may do several more and blog them instead.

30th October
5:44pm

That was done this morning. Before the recital.

Recital went fairly well. Had some hiccups, but largely good, and didn’t feel overly nervous. Best performance I feel that I have ever given, which is something. Hopefully that will be reflected in the study score.

So let’s try this exercise again, and have some more amusing and nonsensical answers

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Forever by Chris Brown

Again, makes as much sense as torrential rain in spring. However, we do live in Melbourne.


2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Hell Yeah by S. Carter

S. Carter being Jay’s real name. Sean Carter. Jay-Z is a little bit cooler. And yes, I am pretty hell yeah.


3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Life by Alicia Keys

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Purple Stain by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Yeah. I is a purple stain.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Love Buzz by Nirvana

Nirvana again. That’s a pretty cool purpose.


6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Lady Liberty Needs Glasses by Malcolm Jamal Warner

Don’t know this song. Is very random. And doesn’t make much sense as a motto.


7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Warlocks by Red Hot Chili Peppers

You guys again? WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA.


8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Helter Skelter by U2

It’s actually not by U2. It’s the Beatles. Lovely rock ‘n’ roll.
Do you or don’t you want me to love you?
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown

I don’t. I really don’t.

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
A Message by Coldplay

How profound. 2 plus 2 is a message. Ooooh.


11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Summer Love by Justin Timberlake

And all seasonal love. I wish JT had more songs. Just saying.

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Gravity by John Mayer

I like to think not. Sometimes it does feel like it, but I’m glad of what I have. Man, I’m gonna be trying this thing until I get a real life story.
Gravity is working against me. And gravity wants to bring me down.
13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Bad Thing by Arctic Monkeys

Cause I can totally see that.


14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chocolate Factory by R. Kelly

I liked the first one a lot better.

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Angels by Robbie Williams

Oooh. That would be pretty nice.

I sit and wait; does an angel contemplate my fate?
I know that life won't break me when I come to call. She won't forsake me. I'm loving angels instead. When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a one-way street, I look above and I know I'll always be blessed with love. 
16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Watch Me by Jay-Z

Again, probably inappropriate for a funeral.

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I Swear by Boyz II Men

Slightly amusing, seeing as I don’t.

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Gone by U2

Makes slight sense. More so than Isn’t She Lovely, at least.

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Miracle by Queen

You see, I’m actually Superman. I just don’t like people to know cause then everyone would want my autograph even more than they do already, and they would also know about my cross-dressing habit.

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
I’ll Get You by The Beatles

Optimism. I will get it.

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Where’d You Go by Fort Minor

I know you’re still here. You guys are still supersonic.

22. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Wild Honey Pie by The Beatles

Or not.

The next morning…
Being now.

So we’ve been going on a bit of a Speak Now frenzy, which makes me miss Fearless. Which is different to Speak Now, but generally speaking, I think it’s the better album. It works together as an album more. Although hats off to T-Swizzle for writing the whole of Speak Now by herself.

Hey Stephen makes my heart hurt. Nice finger snapping.

I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you.
Thank you to everyone who texted/Facebooked/emailed me before and after my recital. I think it went fairly well, and if it didn’t, I threw everything I had into it, and that’s all I can ask of myself. And if anyone asks any more, well, I can’t do much about it.

Thanks for all the support. Or as Asian drama girl said last night...well I can't type it cause it's in Chinese. And I can't. I shall get Julia to do it.

if youre sad
im happy to be sad with you

and

I wish you were sine squared and I was cosine squared, so together we'd make one

Nerdy.

Thursday, October 28

chasing the sun

So Speak Now came out, and I've been playing it on repeat quite excessively. It makes me want to cry. Back To December is just depressing. As is If This Was A Movie. Would blog extensively, but has already been done by two people I know, so that's enough coverage. Nearly cried to it on the train, which would have been rather embarrassing. And many other songs. Someone said Mine was optimistic. It is, and that's sorta what makes it sad. It's that depressing happiness, like the year 12s leaving, or our last music class. Looking forward. It reminds me of Slide Away.

I dream of you and we talk of growing old. But you said, "please don't"
Although the emotion is slightly more amped up in the following:

We'll find a way of chasing the sun
Go the guy who can drum and play tambourine at the same time. I wish either of them would release an album already. I miss Noel's music. And I love how effortlessly he plays guitar. And the fact that he writes incredibly easy chord progressions. His fingers are barely moving.

I also love his leather jacket look. I think he's what got me into leather jackets. Someone said mine looked like a bikie thing...hmm.
I never worry - now that is a lie...it's hard to believe there's nobody out there. It's hard to believe that I'm all alone. 
Edit: There was meant to be a video here of Under The Bridge, but I can't embed it. Sigh. So read the following as though you did have access to the video.

I had no idea Red Hot Chili Peppers man looked like that. Or acted that strangely. However, I love it when he mouths "boom" when the drums kick in. His range is a little small. And he did start out as a rapper. HIs hair is a bit long. Nice song though. So chill.

I'm watching as I'm blogging. He's doing some sort of Baywatch run. Showing off how ripped he is. And his hair is swooshing around. Interesting.

Speaking of ripped. Nadal. Thought I'd put that in there cause Zoe and I had a bit of a Nadal obsession moment yesterday. Damn, I want to meet him. Crown stalking it is.


Unfortunately I can't find the official video, if there is one. So live shall have to do. Her stage presence/actions are sorta a bit nyeh. It's better when she has a guitar. It looks cooler then. 

Monday, October 25

always look on the bright side

I love the sun.

I love that my Sesame Street tank top still fits.

I love being vice-captain to Catriona.

I love not having exams (yes, I have them. We can all dream)

I love not being too Huang up over things.

I love the sounds of my sister playing piano upstairs whilst I am waiting for her to finish so I can practice.

I love that Speak Now came out today, although I don't love the fact that I will have to wait to download it because our peak usage for net is at 86%, and we still have six days to go. However, I am glad that it is out so I can finally get Mine. Although I'll probably wait until after recital to listen to it.

I love the tingly ideas I'm getting for birthdays and Christmas. Especially my brother's 21st.

I love listening to Summerboy while I'm studying.

I love the excitement I'm getting over ideas for the music program for next year.

I love that I don't feel too badly about how exams went, although we have still yet to come to French.

I love watching Bear Grylls as part of the French legion, no matter what my English teacher's opinion of him is.

I love Mahi because we're going to be out of the loop together. And we can ahahahahah together too.

8:35pm
I love that Alice has since joined Mahi and I. And has gone to consume some fruit.

I love sitting here at 8:35pm in a white dress which is pretty damn fantastic, even if I do say so myself. And that my lovely mother has fixed it so it is no longer see-through. I am very tempted to wear it tomorrow, but I don't think it's quite hot enough yet to rate white summer dresses. So I shall wait for Speech Night rehearsals or something.

Sunday, October 24

good day, and special day

No, the title is not a grammatical error.

Well, technically it is. But let's just say that it wasn't a mistake on my part, and that it was highly deliberate for me to act fob. I have a t-shirt which I bought from Hong Kong which says "today is good day and special day". It has a picture of a dog on it too. It's become somewhat of a semi-trademark.

So, yesterday was a good day, and a special one too. And do you want to know why it was good and special? Cause I went to school. Going to school and spending two and a half hours with Lydia and Mr Chua did more for my mood than I could've thought possible, and more than anything else has done for the past couple of days, including just resolutely blasting optimism from my iPod. It gave me a confidence kick, it was fun (yes, going to school on a Saturday is FUN kids), and afterwards we bought Healthy Cup, an experience which taught me that taro and yam is the same thing...is it my fault I'm not very Asian?

So I feel pretty good about music. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't care about the score, but I'm not overly worried about it. Que sera sera, and secondly, I've had fun this year, and I've learnt a lot. For me, that's more important. Or I shall think it so otherwise I'll just become thoroughly depressed if I don't get over 40.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst

Her voice is a little bit dodgy on the higher notes, but the music is awesome. I love the Lord of the Rings score. 
Frodo heard a sweet singing running in his mind: a song that seemed to come like a pale light behind a grey rain-curtain, and growing stronger to turn the veil all to glass and silver, until a last it was rolled back, and a far green country opened before him under a swift sunrise. 

Saturday, October 23

The stuff we did and the good times - thank you

To my darling year 12s,

Play the following clip first and set the atmosphere.
No, it’s not the final time we will see each other for something which is school related – we’ve still got exams, Speech Night and rehearsals, and I would say final assembly, except that sadly, I won’t be attending. And there will be subsequent and appropriate blog posts for those events.

However, this one will get the ball rolling. And the first thing I want to say is thank you. Seeing as a large portion of you are musically-inclined, and as I met you as a result of said musical-inclination, this will be largely music related.

Thank you for making me a part of the family, especially for those kids who took me in at the end of year nine, who Facebook-stalked me, that piano family who I’ve had such fun times with for the past two years or so for which I’ve known you. It’s slightly daunting having to lead what remains, and what will always remain, of your legacy. Slightly frightening to be the oldest (although we all know Shuyu was nowhere near the oldest. Ever). But we will try. Thank you for inviting me into that world in the first place.

It’s been amazing making music with you guys for the past two years (I won’t count most of year nine cause I didn’t actually know anyone then, which is something I missed out on). There’s something in performing, in creating something with other people that just can’t be found anywhere else. Yes, I’m getting lame and cliché, but clichés have to start from some grain of truth. And it’s only because so many people realise it as a truth that it becomes cliché.

That adrenalin rush of performing, the embarrassment of screwing up, the elation after something so perfectly successful that you just want to play it over and over. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of that. It’s something which I myself will miss once I leave, and I’ll miss having you guys around to be a part of it.

Above all, there are a few which I would like to give a shout out to. Flic, you mentorship and guidance, and how you freak out and manage to coordinate everything anyway. It’s slightly amusing watching you freak out with such vehemence. Ange, you popping out to have that short walk down the stairs after I’ve had spesh, that randomly walking up to me and going “SRASHIIIEEEE. SEND ME ALMOND. ALMOND”. You really are a very grandmotherly figure.

And Lydia, my piano buddy, aunt turned adoptive-mother, who will most likely never read this because she doesn’t “EVER GO ON FACEBOOK. LIKE, EVER”, so I’ll assume she’s not really into blogs either. But, wow, my music buddy, you are amazing. I’ve enjoyed music so damn much because you’ve been in my class, because of that crazy passion you throw into it. Le Bal was amazing, and it was one of the best musical experiences I’ve ever had. It’s one of those performances you want to repeat again and again. Although we probably shouldn’t, cause then would make us tire of it, which may lead us to further radical changes beyond the dramatisation of the intro. But that’s beside the point. The point is, you’re amazing. That’s the point.

You’re all amazing, especially those kids for whom those two rows of seats behind the piano are reserved at Speech Night rehearsals who I haven’t mentioned. Anna, Shuyu. Thank you for the fun and good times, for those crazy insane bits. For your offers of tutorship, Shuyu. I remember walking to Middle School Soirée in year nine and singing the Speech Night medley at the top of our lungs like drunkards.

I remember screwing up so badly at Speech Night at year nine, but no one thought any worse of me, and that was the best which that shy little year nine with the could have ever asked from anyone.

I remember all those epic piano ensembles of Ms Mik’s, and playing Three Blind Mice which was absolutely crazy. Romeo and Juliet and that frantic changing to vibraphone.

I remember that picnic, that perfect day sitting on the grass in the “hammer-throw-man-park”, eating chicken and laughing at Mandy’s “scones”, and that melting cake.

I remember Wednesday, with us all crying because we never wanted to let go. And those excited texts which followed after we found out the results.

Thank you for letting me share that excitement with you.

The piece is from Up, which you may have deduced from the balloons and footage and stuff which I assume will be on the clip as soon as I find it. If said images are not present, apologies. It’s called Stuff We Did, which is rather appropriate. Looking back, and going forward. So as the final strains of the music die away (I hope they haven’t died away yet. And that you aren’t a quick reader and therefore the music has only just reached its peak), I wish you all the best. You’re all incredibly talented people, and you will go far.

My love goes to you all. And I will most likely see you very soon. But I felt it was appropriate, seeing as the year 12s’ last day is all over the internet, blogs, Facebook and such. And I did need to say thank you.

Thank you.

Friday, October 22

Because...there's more

And my head keeps spinning, I can't stop having these visions. I gotta get with it.
Stupid hayfever makes my head feel like a sponge

1:23pm
In keeping with the because theme.

Because I'm too damn stubborn.
Because I have rather decent self-control, even if I do say so myself. Although I guess this is a testament to me losing that control. However, I have learned to direct it down particular streams, so that it doesn't spill over the banks and drown everything in a tidal wave of destruction and chaos. What a metaphor. Is it a metaphor? I get so confused between metaphors, analogies and similes. I shall go clean my room and cease this rambling prattle now.
How do you spell love? 
You don't spell it... you feel it.
I love Pooh Bear. And you too, Mahi.

2:38pm
Just flicked through many albums of my old drawings looking for the one which I'm pretty sure was of Naruto, but not sure because it was so many years ago. It just interested me is all. I may start properly reading it after exams. Not now. I've only read volume two, and I know that if I start now, then I'll spend too much time vegetating in front of the computer, as per previous experience with Bleach. So afterwards.

Anyway, I was flicking through all the drawing pads, and some of them were quite amusing. I saw a few of Maple characters which I did that weren't half bad. And watercolour. Damn I want to start drawing and doing watercolours again.

Wednesday, October 20

Because

Because I don't want to spend my time tapping out an essay which is a few thousand words, which I will then feel guilty for because I've wasted my time. Although I've wasted enough of it already by jumping on MSN when the person I jumped on MSN for offline messaged me 22 minutes prior, when I was reading. And then she left. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, and I'm sorry I kept you waiting for nothing. 

Because I've been listening to Kanye, who has some rather awesome summery music which is guaranteed to lift you up, even if it's only for the few minutes when it's playing. I have compiled a summer playlist (yes, it's still spring), consisting of quite a few people, including said aforementioned Kanye, Jay, Lady GaGa, Oasis (always perfect for a sunny, invincible day), Usher, and various others. 

Because the year 12s are amazing, and deserve a longer post than this to tell them that. I shall do that on the weekend. When I'm not hanging around school like a nerd. 

Because I want to talk about that interesting article in the mx I read the other day, which I forgot about and subsequently remembered, and I won't get enough time to talk about it. 

Because I also have another blog post planned from something I picked up off Bec Tee's blog. 

Because I should do some French grammar forward slash revs notes forward slash English analysis, yet I have left my French grammar book at school. However, I am revving myself up to do revs. Soon. Ish.

Because I'm listening to Let's All Make Believe, which consists of some rather edgy augmented chords, as I discovered when I looked in the little black Oasis songbook of my brother's, which I suspect is highly unofficial.

Because I felt that I wasted enough time walking around the city this morning. Well, not really walking around the city. I walked down Bowen Crescent for the first time in ages, cause I got to Domain when it wasn't even 7:30, so I took a detour to school. However, detour did not work, as I still have to wait outside in the cold for a further seven or so minutes.  

Because I'm too chuffed to want to feel otherwise. Catriona, you and I are gonna rock this party.

That's you and me Cat. Down to the awesome tuning. Well, awesome tuning on my part. You're much better at it. I wish I could get in tune just by doing that: "A, A, A. G, G, G."  
Creepy melody. Thought it would be appropriate, as it is entitled "Because".

Above reasons are why I shall not blog extensively and deeply.

Saturday, October 16

of Melbourne weather

There's something bout the way the street looks when it's just rained; there's a glow off the pavement WHICH BLINDS MY EYES CAUSE THE SUN JUST CAME OUT AFTER A WHOLE NIGHT OF HAIL/TORRENTIAL RAIN. Crazy stuff woke me up three times during what I am sure would have otherwise been a very pleasant sleeping experience. Also destroyed my umbrella, the one of awesomeness, purpleness and domeness. I shall attempt to fix it using string. My mother bent it back into shape, and I will later attempt to revive it by wrapping copious amounts of string around it in a bid to not let it bend in on itself again.

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something
Ahh, the monkey.
I want to turn the whole thing upside down, or find the things they say just can't be found.
1:46pm
I was just flicking through my old Pallases (plural of Pallas; Palli?), and I realised that I haven't seen some people in a while. They either left Macrob, or I have been completely unobservant this year, and I only remembered them when I looked back and went "oh yeah. They exist."

4:46pm
Sometime during the past couple of months, I have turned into a problem child. Literally, a problem.

Friday, October 15

helas (= alas, in French)

Dear blogreader,

Alas, we are nearing the exam period. I have had two deep and meaningfuls which I have been meaning to produce, yet I cannot find the time/internet usage is higher than usual this month, and I didn’t want to keep going on the internet. Although I guess I could’ve just typed it up in word, like I am doing now. Alas, I have also forgotten one of the topics. I will remember. Maybe.

Happy birthday Vivien. I hope you enjoyed the extremely dodgy rendition of Awake. Dodgy to the point where I only sang a verse and chorus cause my mind went blank. I got nervous. Performing solo makes me nervous. Not to mention I didn’t know the song at all. Chord progressions, I detest thee. I hope you enjoyed everything. You will get your big present eventually. Despite what I may or may not show, I love you. I hope your day was filled with happiness, and I hope that all your days after are too.

I should go do some methods now. After I finish this.

It has been hectic recently. But it all turned out better than I expected. Now I just have to get past all those little things called exams. I should go memorise stuff as well. Does anyone else feel as though there is just not enough time? I find that I am incapable of studying past ten at night, unlike other dedicated people who sleep at one or something. I just can’t do it. My brain shuts down. Which means I am quite behind on memorising a lot of stuff because piano usually takes me to about eight. Recital in two weeks.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
Also: what do people call L3? I call it the music suite. However, Mr Chua told me he had never heard anyone say it before last night, when I said it. But Cat says it too. What does everyone else call it? Although, now I think about it, it doesn’t really make much sense to call it a music suite.

Voting for school leaders is now taking place. Should be interesting. Here's hoping.

Son, do you know what I’m stopping you for?
Cause I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low? Do I look like a mindreader, sir? I dunno.
Hilarity. The blanking out of the expletives rather detracts from the flow of the song, but what can one do when one tries to maintain a family friendly blog.

Spring Soirée last night was amusing. After band, I decided to go on Neopets. Apparently Angela had the same idea, as I heard her say as she walked past the computer room. So Julia, Angela and I spent some time on Neopets instead of doing something productive. Although I did end up doing about half an hour of revs afterwards. Alright, about twenty minutes. But I did do something.

This morning when I went to grab Anton from the consultation room, there was a sprig (bunch?) of fake flowers (see why I called it a sprig?) on top of him. Where did they come from?

The wraiths are gone on Neo. I didn’t even get to my killing cap for the Brutes and the Furies. Damn. Hopefully they come back. In the meanwhile, I shall continue to train up my Meerca in the hope that this plot is rewarding. I am spending way too much money on a combination of codestones and weaponry, and I have no income because I don't play the games, my stocks are all failing, and I can't be bothered managing my shop.
I wish I could have lived in a kind world. Without anxiety. Without fear. Without hurting other people. Without being hurt myself. Only doing the right things.
I wish I could have followed the shortest path, to the kind world I wish for. “That’s wrong.” “That’s stupid.” When it comes to other people’s lives, you can say that kind of irresponsible dreck as much as you want.
I wish I could’ve lived my life without making any wrong turns. But that’s impossible. A path like that doesn’t exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost.
We make mistakes.
And little by little, one step at a time, we push forward.
It’s all we can do. On our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up. Someday, we’ll reach something. We’ll reach someone. We pray.
I didn’t realise that was going to be that long. Taken from volume the twenty-first of Fruits Basket. When one sees text in manga form, it appears a lot shorter. I haven’t actually read the series in order, ever. It’s on my list of books to buy when I have loads of money. Or just when I have money which is my own. While on the subject of manga, Bleach is getting lame. Stupid, dodgy not being able to see stuffness.

Anyway, I like that quote; it stuck with me since the first time I read it. Because making mistakes is human, even though that sounds, and probably is, cliché. No one can be right all the time, no one can do right all the time. And even though I wish I had always felt what was “right”, I had always done what was right by others, what’s done is done. We can only change what’s in front of us.
Come on. It’s time to start walking.

Thursday, October 14

all we seem to know

All we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong

Tuesday, October 12

don't you shiver

So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention do you? And I know you don't listen to me, cause you say you see straight through me, don't you? 
Again from the Coldplay album of awesomeness.  Chris Martin has to be one of the weirdest looking guys around. But his voice. His damn voice is ridiculous. The best singers have weird, weird voices.

Current playlist looks something like this:
Shiver - Coldplay
Tell Me Why - Taylor Swift
99 Problems - Jay-Z
Mardy Bum - Arctic Monkeys
Through With You - Maroon 5
Not Coming Home - Maroon 5
Tangled - Maroon 5
Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5
Whatever - Oasis
Forever & Always (Acoustic) - Taylor Swift
Shiver - Maroon 5

Yes, there are two Shivers on there. They're different. Also:
Fly away, oh my zephyr. I feel it more than ever, and in this perfect weather we'll find a place together

Wednesday, October 6

Songs about Adam Levin's ex-girlfriend. Therefore, songs about a girl.

8:35pm
Finally done. So rewind this to about an hour ago and it'll make more sense.
----
Sitting here listening to Songs About Jane. Cause it’s just such an awesome. And there seem to be many lines which speak to me at the moment.

Oh, it’s pouring. Again. It poured as I walked out of school. Got drenched. On the day I didn’t bring a proper umbrella. It never rained that hard when I walked out of school during winter, when I had my umbrella most of the time. Was usually pathetic drizzling though. So it decided to absolutely bucket on me when I walked out. Was ridiculous.

And of course, sunshine when I was on the train. Then started raining again at 3:30; hometime for the little primary school ones.

So I shall stick a song line from every song here. In album order. So this is gonna take a while. I expect this post up in an hour, because going through the album’s probably gonna take about an hour. I have no idea of how long it actually is, cause I have some doubles and different versions of things. The time is currently 7:46pm. I am listening to This Love. Which I have already listened to; doubles, see?

Maybe several songlines from some songs. Cause some need them.
How dare you say that my behaviour’s unacceptable? “So condescending, so unnecessarily critical”.
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I’m even here; the double vision I was seeing has finally cleared. 
When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love. You’ll understand what I mean when I say there’s no way we gonna give up.
Is there anyone out there? Cause it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
What you were doing was screwing things up inside my head. You should know better, you never listen to what I said.
- Harder To Breathe

I went to laugh, but cried instead
Making use of all this time, keeping everything inside. Closed my eyes and listened to you cry.
“This is not goodbye,” she said. “It’s just time for me to rest my head.” She does not. Well, she runs instead.
There’s only so much I can do for you, after all the things that you put me through
- Must Get Out

When you refuse me you confuse me
I would do anything to end your suffering. But you would rather walk away.
- Not Coming Home

Everyone has a secret, but can they keep it? I don’t think so.
- Secret

 Alright, so that one spoke to me less. But I couldn't just exclude it could I?

He was always there to help her; she always belonged to someone else
It’s not always rainbows, and butterflies. It’s compromise. It moves us along.
- She Will Be Loved

You build me up, you knock me down. Provoke a smile and make me frown. You are the queen of runaround; you know it’s true. You chew me up, you spit me out. Enjoy the taste I leave in your mouth. You look at me, I look at you. Neither of us know what to do. There may not be another way into your heart, so I guess I better find a new way in. And I shiver when I hear your name, think about you but it’s not the same. Won’t be satisfied ‘til I’m under your skin. Immobilised by the thought of you, paralysed by the sight of you, hypnotised by the words you say; not true but I believe them anyway.
- Shiver

And I cannot remember what life was like through photographs
Sometimes it’s a sad song. But I cannot forget, refuse to regret, somehow I met you and take my breath away, make every day worth all of the pain that I have gone through. And momma I’ve been crying cause things ain’t how they used to be, she said, “the battle’s almost won. And we’re only seven miles from the sun.” Now moving along, down my street, see people I won’t ever meet.
- The Sun

I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew that someday, it would lead me back to you.
- Sunday Morning

Where you are seems to be as far as an eternity
- Sweetest Goodbye

Sometimes I wonder if I disappear would you ever turn your head and look? See if I’m gone. Cause I fear there is nothing left to say to you that you want to hear, that you wanna know. I think I should go; all the things I’ve done are way too shameful. And I’ve done you so wrong, treated you bad, strung you along, oh shame on myself. I don’t know how it got so tangled.
- Tangled

So hard to keep her satisfied; kept playing love like it was just a game
- This Love

Can you see me? Floating above your head as you lay in bed thinking about everything that I did not do, cause saying “I love you” has nothing to do with meaning it. And I don’t trust you. Cause every time you’re here, your intentions are unclear I spend every hour waiting for a phone call that I know will never come.
Now I’m sick of thinking anything at all.
And how long has it been since someone you let in has given what I gave to you?
- Through With You

And while I was playing the outro to The Sun, Restaurant City music started invading it. It was fading away nicely. Then I was greeted by bloo doom. Bloo doom. Boom, bloo doom.

Lovely riff.

And I also wish to quote: sick intro riff to Shiver.

Tuesday, October 5

words of wisdom

I just played the acoustic Forever and Always again. Closed iTunes cause it seems to be stuck in my head and it is just too depressing. Hurts...somewhere in my heart. And I don't know why.
And you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
In other news, listening to excessive amounts of Maroon 5.
Wake you up in the middle of the night to say, "I will never walk away again. I'm never gonna leave this bed"
How annoying. He randomly wakes you up in the middle of the night when he could've told you in the morning.
Take it, take it all, take all that I have. Give it all away just to get you back.
In other other news, I got my red Aviators. They are very rock 'n' roll. In the extreme.

Hmm. Unreliable people in terms of birthday presents. Annoying. Always annoying when people are unreliable. But I shall be patient and understanding and tolerant...or I'll try.

BECAUSE

The point of this post is:
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, "let it be". And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom: let it be...and when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, let it be. 
I'm sorry I forgot that. So I hope you all fill your heads with images of me tossing some sort of dark rain cloud out of the window.

Or maybe just suppressing it like the Bolsheviks suppressed Russia, and eventually it'll evaporate. The rain cloud that is. Not Russia.
You pushed me. I don't have the strength to resist or control you; you cut me down.
Unlike:
Does it kill does it burn, is it painful to learn that it's me who has all the control?
Adam Levine, the one of many different personas. Then again, he's a musician. Come to think of it, then again, he's human.

Now I've got Harder To Breathe stuck in my head.
How dare you say that my behaviour's unacceptable? So condescending, unnecessarily critical. I have a tendency of getting very physical, so watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle. You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here. The double vision I was seeing has finally cleared. You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone, not fit to frickin tread the ground that I am walking on. When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love.You'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we gonna give up. Like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in a dream. Is there anyone out there? Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.
Such vengeance, Maroon 5 man.

Sunday, October 3

flashback


God this thing is depressing. Her voice is so much more fragile. I love acoustic things. They bring out a completely different side of the music. 
And you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
And although I have written the revs essay, I haven't done anything else. I would have had I not been sick. Still sick. Extremely dodgy time to get sick.

7:23pm
Daylight saving stole my hour of sleep/work. Although because of sickness, I don't feel like working. I hate being sick.

7:45pm
Why are there so many flies around? I'm trying to type revs notes here, and this one fly keeps flying round and round in circles around my head. Very annoying. If you want to fly, at least have the decency to do so in silence. I caught three huge ones last night while I was typing the revs essay. It was disgusting. Those rich capitalist flies. This one's a poor peasant fly I think; it's smaller. Although I can't really tell cause he's going round and round so much. And if he's starved and malnourished, why is he zipping around with such energy? Alright, he's a capitalist fly too.

Saturday, October 2

what's the story

Happy fifteenth birthday to (What's The Story) Morning Glory?, one of the greatest albums which were ever created. Has Wonderwall and Don't Look Back In Anger on it. Enough said.


Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever blogged this video before. 
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
P.S.: The embedding on this one doesn't work either. Shame.

Winner

Alright, here's the gameplan:

Sarah's first part of working is three hours of piano, with probably a break for lunch. That will most likely take me to about 1:30/2pm.

Then I need to:

Finish my revs notes for SAC
Write practice essay
Finish music summary notes
Rewrite English and send to tutor
Finish reflection on English
Write up another draft for English
Music campaign poster

Which will then leave me time to maybe do more piano, and also aural. And find the music for Old Wine In New Bottles which I forgot to practice cause I didn't have the music lying around to remind me.

Which will then leave me tomorrow to freak out about aural, which I will then most likely do. And some practice.

Brilliant.
Here's to the silence that cuts me to the core
Forever And Always. Accoustically. The awesomes.

And despite the huge list of work, it is actually doable if I try. Cause most of it's half-finished anyway.

Off to...I need to name my piano. Off to the piano.

After I finish this Strepsil and brush my teeth. Lovely time to get sick. Last two days of holidays, and SAC on Tuesday. Wonderful. Although it hasn't progressed beyond a sore throat and some sniffles which I've had for a while anyway. Let's hope it doesn't.

Update at 1:14pm
Didn't work. Only managed one and a half hours of piano before I brawled at 11:30 instead. And now Michelle's jamming away so no piano for me.

This sick business is getting worse. My head is all stuffy. Gah.

I also cannot find the piano version of Forever And Always. I want to have it blasting through my speakers. Now. Need to get it off my brother's computer. Now. Now.

7:11pm
Did the piano. Or the large bulk of it.

However, my motivation to work is quickly dissipating. My head's starting to lose all coherence. That doesn't even make any sense. See?

Friday, October 1

What is to be done: Part II

Well, revs notes are to be done. And I am in the process of doing them. I currently have 19 words.

Music notes are also to be done, and I'm having a strange and indecent amount of fun doing them. To the point where Julia called me an Asian Hermione. I think the crazy rainbow colouring got me a bit excited.

But the point of this post was to update my list of to-dos after year 12. After a short convo with Viv, I had discovered that I must learn HTML coding. Add that to the list.

02/10/10
9:27am

Two seconds after my most recent post, I wished to add to this by saying that I want to bake as well.