Friday, November 25

A long overdue post about the end of the year and everything which will probably take a few days to compose, thus making it even more overdue

And I'm sort of quite sleepy, so I shall return to this tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll write just a little bit while I'm here, and now that I've gotten off MSN. I know! I shall do this in parts! That shall be exciting!

Yeah, dress signing, muck up day and valedictory came and went. It was interesting, and a little bit of an anti-climax for me. I didn't cry, due to the fact that I was feeling extremely chipper during that period, and looking forward to pretty much everything life had to throw at me. There was a lot of thinking about old school and everything, and thinking about how many more people I know at my school now, and how many more friends I have. I don't know if that's due to the fact that I have been here for four years, and only at my old school for two, years during which I practically only had classes with my form. But yeah, I like to think it's because I just fit in better. Look at all the colourful signatures. And the bells which jingled and annoyed the hell out of everyone. My t-shirt when I left my old sorta very empty. 

I'm quite glad I left. It has changed me quite significantly. 

I had previously thought that I would cry on muck up day, but alas it was not to be. Just many hugs, and exhaustion by the end of it. Right to the very end, I didn't really get to enjoy and relax and have fun cause I was organising a performance. I had a dream a few weeks ago where there was a breakfast at school again...probably fuelled by subconscious regrets that I didn't actually eat anything from the year 12 breakfast on  that day. 

I confess that I got no buzz, and barely remember the performance. I got more buzz envisioning it whilst I was singing in the shower, or rehearsing in L3. But such is life (almost typed suck is life...), and yeah, performances are a bit hit and miss. 

Speech Night was the big one for me, and has since worn off a little bit. But actually worked, although that wasn't something I realised until the night had finished and people were congratulating us on the fact that it was good. I'm going to miss music so much. It's not the people I'm going to miss, it's not my friends that make graduating sad, though I will miss the fact that I get to see them every day, and can just run into them in that tiny little school. But the ones who are worth it will stick around, and though it may not be as often, as frequent or whatever, all going well, I will see them. But more than anything it's the experiences I've had there, and the opportunities for them. It's the fact that I'm never going to get those four years of amazing experiences and memories back, ones which can only possibly be formed in high school. No more musicals, Winter Concerts, Speech Nights, classrooms, inter-form competitions and rivalry, form assembly...all that stuff. No more walking into conference room whatever to have a class with Alexis. Merci pour tout ce que tu as fait pour nous. Comme tu as dit, il n'y a pas de mots. Mais, merci, merci, merci de m'avoir nous enseigné, mais surtout, ton amitié. Tes cours vont vraiment me manquer, et, ça va sans dire que tu vas énormément me manquer (j'ai écrit manger...comme je suis fatiguée). Merci.   

And that is my lovely, not particularly long ramble about the end of the year and what it means for me. I rambled longer last year about last year's year 12s. But I feel like I've exhausted this topic already with myself. To finish, they were a good four years which shaped me hugely at a time where I needed shaping. That didn't even make sense. I'm glad I ended up here though. 

Ha! It didn't take me days to write this. I did it all in...I'm not sure what time it was when I started. I'm sorta sleepy. Dancing tomorrow. Yay. Then party the day after. Yay. Then more dancing! Yay! 

I need to find some source of income. I think I'm a stressful, and expensive, child to have around the house. 

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