Saturday, February 6

Hit me like a ray of sun

I was feeling immensely sad last night. But a good sad. Difficult to explain, I guess you could call it wistfulness. Its because we were discussing dreams, what we think of the future, what we want of the future. And I guess I get a little wistful for things I desire now, but know I can't get until later. Although I haven't really tried, but I know that now isn't the time.

Doesn't stop me from dreaming though.

On top of that, listening to an acoustic version of Halo of the Hope for Haiti album also pulled at something from my heart. I use that expression a lot, because I don't know how else to describe it. It feels as though my heart is aching. I love that feeling which music can give me. For a while, I thought I had lost it, because, for some reason or another, it just didn't come anymore. But it's back now, and I'm glad. Like I said, a good kind of sad.

This first week has been draining, I have no idea why. But I'm enjoying myself. It seems as though I'm actually being taught for the sake of learning, or maybe it's just the fact that I'm interested in the subjects I'm taking now. I also just realised that I only have two years to go before we all branch out. It already feels weird not really seeing anyone I'm close to in my classes anymore, what will it feel like in uni, when maybe we aren't even going to be at the same uni? So I'm going to treasure these next two years. But I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I am bapptitent; bored, happy, and content. I think content's the main one there.

Today feels like a good day to be alive. I'm strangely peaceful, and the sun's shining, and I'm thinking happy thoughts. So que sera, sera. The future's not ours to see. What's ours is the present, and what future we can forge from it.

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