Dear creepy stalker car

Dear creepy stalker car,

I know that in this life, one cannot be judgemental. But the fact remains that you sit there, with your front right headlight on, completely still, for no apparent reason. I don't even know which neighbour you belong to. Or which neighbour's friend, because you're not always there. No, your appearances are sporadic, and you only ever appear at night.

See why I am wary of you, oh creepy stalker car?

You sit there, in your one-headlightness, and whenever a family member goes down to the garage, I want to scream "DON'T GO. THE CREEPY STALKER CAR IS THERE". I refrain myself. Just.

You park in front of my house. Not whichever-neighbour('s friend)-you-belong-to's house, but mine. Why oh why do you park behind our van? Do you not have your own parking space to soak with your one-headlight-creepiness?

It's creepy. Turn your one headlight off. Then I might not actually see you, and I can sleep in peace.

Yours truly