For all the agony, I'd rather know

Saw people yesterday. Was good. Lunched, presents were handed out, much laughter and mirth, AND I BOUGHT MY LEATHER JACKET AND WAS VERY HAPPY. It's so beautifully red. And smooth and soft. And cheap. Then froyo was had and it was wonderful watching Alice pop those popping things.

Orientation Host training today was interesting. Tips they gave us - don't be a jerk, try to know what you're doing, and don't be awkward. I've got this in the bag. Found a nice place to eat delicious sushi, which apparently everyone knows about but not me because I do not socialise at uni therefore I know not of places to eat.

Public transport was horrendous. Took me three quarters of an hour to get out to the city where it usually takes half, and we kept stopping and starting, and it was stupid and kinda nauseous. Same thing happened on the way back home. And then there was traffic when Mum came to pick us up. Was wonderful.

Don't walk away. See I just can't find the right thing to say. I tried but all my pain gets in the way. Tell me what I have to do so you'll stay. Should I get down on my knees and pray? How can I stop losing you? How can I begin to say? When there's nothing left to do, don't walk away. 

Of mid-sems, friends and the end of the month

Things that have happened recently:
- have been crippled, though will hopefully be able to hobble by tomorrow
- it started raining and it's now actually quite cold. Hi summer.
- I still haven't started practicing piano
- had a mid-sem, in which I corrected two answers I think I got wrong initially, so that's good yes?
- saw Mahi following the mid-sem, ordered vegetable lasagne for lunch and then re-realised how much I don't like vegetable lasagne.
- saw alumni and current high school kids at uni. Need to arrange more meetings with more people I have neglected. I am bad at organising time and keeping track of people.
- people came back from their trips.

And that is one twelfth of 2013 gone. And it's my birthday in four weeks, and that'll be another year gone.

Everything that happens from now on, this is pouring rain. This is paralyzed. I keep throwing it down two hundred at a time. It's hard to find it when you knew it. When your money's gone and you're drunk as hell. I've been twisting to the sun. I needed to replace the fountain in the front yard is rusted out. All my love was down in a frozen ground.

Of cleaning out the computer

I get the feeling I have made posts of cleaning out the computer before, but oh well. It does happen a lot. Stuff I found:

- A lot of videos of my dog. Snoring. Sleeping. Sleeping under piles of stuff I've chucked under her. Looking pathetic.
- Videos from the Taylor Swift gig. Long Live looks amazing.
- Finally found that list of past exam papers I did for maths in year twelve. Totaled to fifteen for methods and twelve for spesh. In my defence, I did complete massive pile of random worksheets.
- The Shosta score from Ballarat.

I should start practicing piano again. Once again I'm at the point where I have no idea how to start learning a piece. Too many...notes.

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while. Heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, are you gonna drop the bomb or not? Let us die young, or let us live forever, we don't have the power so we never say never. Sitting in a sand pit, life is a short trip, the music's for the sad man. Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever? May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows. But we ain't even thinking that far. Fear not when, fear not why, fear not much while we're alive. 

The kid looks like John Legend.

(Cue seamless transition into JL video)

Where do we go? Who knows? But each day gets better, I just can't let her go. Each kiss gets sweeter, I just can't leave her no. I'll write a song. I've thought about it for far too long, but I never had someone to sing about until I met her, now each day gets better. 

I still can't quite figure out why he looks asian. It don't make no sense. And man, the way he plays piano. So much...tinkly.

IFA starts on Wednesday. Sigh. Why does one subject in six weeks seem so much more daunting than six in twelve?  

I'm learning to let stuff go. I was hanging on to something from the past that didn't quite exist anymore, and I didn't realise. It was long gone before I even started fighting for it. Right now I'm just waiting for those who I do have to physically come back to me. Cause everyone's overseas zzzzzzzz.

If you won't save me, please don't waste my time

Listen up, what's the time, said today I'm gonna speak my mind. Take me up to the top of the world I wanna see my crime. Day by day there's a man in a suit who's gonna make you pay for the thoughts that you think, and the words they won't let you say. One fine day, gonna leave you all behind. It wouldn't be so bad if I had more time. Sailing down a river alone, I've been trying to find my way back home. But I don't believe in magic, life is automatic and I don't mind being on my own.

Had a good day with Em last week, and good days are fun. Went to Lincraft to buy bees on cloth to sew indie patches, and find lace which was, in the end, not found. Returned a violently overdue library book, then bought ribbon for my nefarious star jar making schemes. Walked past balloon dude making massive balloons, then went lunch and walked past huge massive adorable Yoshi plushie. His foot was the size of my head. Ate food, fished radioactive green jelly from the bottom of the dessert. Then chilled at Myer for a very, very extensive amount of time. Went through the underwear section cause it's fun, then went to toys which was also fun and sometimes disturbing cause people make creepy toys. Then finally went to the electronics section to find lights, which had been the initial objective. Found lights. Lights sold out. Sat on the floor browsing through stationery instead. Then had tea at Chocolate Lounge. I am noob at the tea making. Then bought a key ring. Then got escorted down to the platform.

Gift wrap on Monday was also fun. Met a second year comm student from Melbourne who was wrapping with me, and when Anita randomly visited, turned out they knew each other too. Sometimes the world can be very small. Gift wrapped with Julia last week too. We struggle under pressure.

Red

Came out ages ago, but I was listening to the album on repeat today so felt I had to stick my songfeels somewhere. SO HERE HAVE SOME SONGFEELS.

Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly. Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colours of autumn so bright just before they lose it all. Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. 

Touching him was like realising all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorising him was as easy as knowing the words to your old favourite song. Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realising there's no right answers. Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong. Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. 

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it's time now gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head. Burning red. Loving him was red. 

Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. Burning red.  

And that's why he's spinning round in my head. Comes back to me, burning red. His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. 

Elton John was playing on the bus back home. I was rocking out to the Crocodile Rock. It was wonderful.

For some reason we were singing this at dinner. Randomly popped up. Old cheesy pop songs. 

Mmmm so what have I done lately? I shall check my calendar.

After speech night:

- Partner interview. Was good. Bonded with the partner. 

- Passed driving test. 

- And according to my calendar, the only other thing I've done since speech night was see Austin today. I felt like I did a lot more though...

- Oh had training for gift wrap with Julia. Went to the pleases first to get stuff signed and stamped, then had Schnitz for dinner. My feet really hurt by the end. All this standing and walking business. 

- OH YES I WENT OUT WITH BEC. Went to San Churro and had weirdly salty churros. Then had sushi for lunch. Walked up and down and all around Knox. Saw nice dresses but I never buy anything without my mum, so went back the same night with family to buy dresses. 

- Saw Bond again with the brother because he didn't have anyone to see it with but now he does so we've both actually ended up seeing it twice. Got lost trying to find Hoyts. 

Event-wise, it looks to be a good rest of the week. Haircut, orientation day, gift wrap, then Em. Then further gift wrapping next week. Just hope no one rocks up with a basketball.

Changed the layout cause I decided I don't like blinding white and orange. I remember someone once read really deeply into the fact that all our blogs were black or grey. To be fair, we did seem to like blacks and greys. 

All the roads we have to walk are winding

Well, this is a little bit cool.

Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you. By now, you should've somehow realised what you're not to do. All the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that light the way are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. I don't know how.

Had a pickernick last week. That was fun. Friends, food, ice-cream, ridiculously warm weather, bubbles, leaf crowns. Then we split, third-wheeled Bleh to Lincraft. Played air hockey with Blam as Em frolicked amongst rolls of cloth. They got slusheeeeeeeesssss.

Speech night last night was interesting. Had three generations of music captains at dinner, and some other people. Was good. Had a laughter and talking headache before speech night even started. Was fun. Hugs. Many hugs. I do like hugs. I miss it all. Went down to the pub like cool kids afterwards, conversed with teachers, had lemonade. We always go for the hard stuff.

And every time I tell that particular story, everyone's a bit like "wut. How does that work?" And what I said yesterday was true. The one person who, in my mind, had any right to be annoyed or flip out on me or have any issue with it is probably the only person who doesn't. So yeah. Thanks little friend. I am eternally grateful.

Get a grip on yourself it don't cost much.

Frenchskies

Alors tu vois, comme tout se mêle et du cœur à tes lèvres, je deviens un casse-tête. Ton rire me crie de te lâcher avant de perdre prise, et d’abandonner. Car je ne t’en demanderai jamais autant. Déjà que tu me traites comme un grand enfant. Nous n’avons plus rien à risquer, à part nos vies qu’on laisse de coté. Et il m’aime encore, et moi je t’aime un peu plus fort. Mais il m’aime encore, et moi je t’aime un peu plus fort.

Car sans rire c’est plus facile de rêver à ce qu’on ne pourra jamais plus toucher. On se prend la main, comme des enfants, le bonheur aux lèvres, un peu naïvement.

Il m’aime encore, et toi tu m’aimes un peu plus fort. Mais il m’aime encore, et moi je t’aime un peu plus fort. Et malgré ça, il m’aime encore, et moi je t’aime un peu plus fort. Mais il m’aime encore, et moi je t’aime un peu plus fort.

So I totes didn't fail my French essay. And didn't die on stage. And I remember why I kept going with music. I always, always seem to forget.

Nothing comes of nothing. First year almost done.

Picture me complaining with all this

You could say I made it, but I'm fading, cause I miss you. Can we go back? But the issue: this time we can't get back. What happened to you? Come back. Cause I miss you. Can we go back? 

Feeling good now. Went for piano lesson in the morning. Dog got in the way of the pedal. Got mega confidence boost and the seal of approval I was looking for. Still need to work much. Within the next two weeks I have assignments for macro and APA, a French oral, an assessment day for vac work, the online testing which "should take around an hour" to complete before the assessment day, probs should fix my CV, need to prep for the interview accompanying the assessment day, masterclass, catch-up with Jess and MSO concert to attend. Oh, and I should start revising for exams, the earliest of which is in six weeks. And all that tute work. And all the French stuff they only just sent through that I need to do before Monday. Oh, and a French impromptu debate some time. Should be alright. But I'm very tired right now.

Cat then appeared, though we accidentally left her out in the cold cause we were too busy whacking piano to hear her. Talked. Played again. Went to noms. Nommed. Went to more noms. Got very, very full. Took up a table for a good hour talking. Then went home. Was good. Good people.

Preview was also good. Good people. Made some friends. Enjoyed myself. Still residually exhausted from manual labour and haven't been sleeping good. Sleepy headache past two days. Bought jewellery yesterday. That was fun as well. Funky ring. Funky necklace. Still need to find my leather jacket. Sigh.

I feel introspective

...but I don't quite know what it is I want to say. So I'll just ramble on about nothing in particular. Hohum. As Facebook would ask, what's on my mind? Nothing in particular. Feel pretty good sorta maybe. Pretty good. Need to start studying properly again. Don't know how people manage gap years. I take five weeks off and it's already killed my motivation. Nope, I would not be a gap year type person. Should really knuckle down. Oxford, Oxford, Oxford. Or NYU NYU NYU. Nyeh. A while away. But it is my short term goal that I hope to reach, so it shall be used as a motivator. Long term goal is to not just be a number. So yeah, should hang on to that when I lose motivation as well. That being said, I'm sitting here blogging cause I ceebs reading and ceebs researching the lumiere philosphy Frenchy peoples. Should not have thrown out revs notes. I have oft regretted it over the past two years of studying French. First it was detailed study. Now this learning about philosophy stuff. I do kinda wish I had more space in my study plan thing to fit more French in. Though it probably would've killed my GPA. So yeah. Also glad that I don't. Sorta. Need to keep it up after next year. That was the whole point. Don't let it go to waste.

Winter Concert on Monday. Mmm. It's starting to hurt less. I'm not rolling around in bed/sitting on the train/walking down Chapel in the dark paralysed by it any more. That's always a plus. But it still aches. Still aches. More that I just feel like I've somehow lost them cause I'm not there any more. But that stupid, silly, and irrational. But hey, we've never really been into rational in the first place. But Monday should be good. At least the post-rehearsal, pre-gig part of it with people I love. The during gig part may be a bit achy. Oh well. Cat's got my back. As always. I was a big bag of mope at last year's Winter Concert as well. Oh, how stupidly low and humiliating that was.

Wanna go on a trip at the end of the year/start of next year. Would be nice. Pity none of us can drive. That sorta kills Mahi's plans of going to that place with the drive-in cinema. We have...one red pea. And a whole bunch of learners. Solid stuff. But would be nice, would be nice. Just chilling. Was nice last year, bar the couple of episodes of weirdness. But I get the (possibly misplaced) feeling that it will be better this year. We've had a year to sort of growing apart (ish) and coming back together. Not a bad thing. I guess I like where I am well enough. Last year, good as it was, wasn't without it's problems and hang ups and stuff. On a whole...probably averaged a higher level of happy this year. Dunno. Last year was higher and lower. This year, thus far, has been...happy, but not overly content I don't think. There have been nice, absolutely perfect moments with people I love. But it seems more difficult. It seems like there's a lot more work into all this. I don't know. I'm not making sense. Last year was like...frickin moments of ecstasy, probably brought on a lot by music. Then there were the crashes, also largely courtesy of music, though there were quite a few ones which weren't related to music. It's not euphoria when I'm just with my friends. It's not the crazy adrenaline rush of performing, or winning, or pulling something off. So yeah, I haven't had that massive a high since...probably Ballarat. Speech Night was good, but probably Ballarat would've been the last big one. Sigh sigh sigh.

What else? Austin's birthday. People I know to people I don't know ratio - 2:9? 10? Don't know. Being pleasant at social events is tiring, and slightly frightening. It's easier at uni. There is common ground to cover there. Oh well. Cat's got my back. Probably should not lean on her so damn much. I used to be more awkward back in my even younger youth. Vermont days. Was very shy and retiring then. Now I'm just introverted, but can unshy and unretire myself if the situation calls for it. Everyone's getting old and stuff. Em is eighteen today. Strange. It's been...almost two years since we went to France together. Those were some nice days too. New year's eve day was amazing. Just chilling. I like that. Just talking with no sense of time and no agenda.

I feel melancholy but there is no one to be melancholy with. I'm tired. It's almost eleven. Wow. Was only a little while ago that we were surprised that it was barely 9:30. And there goes another day.

This song is amazing and it is just systematically destroying my heart. God. This whole album. 

When your mind is a mess, so is mine. I can't sleep cause it hurts when I think. My thoughts aren't at peace. All the words that we say, and the words that we mean, words can fall short. can't see the unseen. 

You're drifting. I can hear it in the way that you're breathing. We don't really need to find reason, cause out the same door that it came, well, it's leaving, it's leaving, leaving like a day that's done and part of a season. Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves. But at least we can sleep, it's all that we need. When we wake we will find our minds will be free to go to sleep.  

Maroon 5 have two good songs on their new album

As opposed to the first album, where every song was gold.

  

Wondering if I really tried everything I could. Not know if I should try a little harder. 

This one sounds like Sellotape.

All the pain you try to hide shows through your mascara lines as they stream down from your eyes. And let them go. Let them fly. Holding back won't turn back time.

And that one sounds like that Billionaire song.

By now you should've somehow realised what you gotta do

Had a good day today. Walked around MC finding presents for people with Jess, trammed down to aquarium where there was an uber long massive queue for some bizarre reason. Wrote in card. Met Alexis. Went to creperie. Had much happies. So much fun. Literally laughed and smiled for about two and a half hours without stopping. Listened to his amusing stories about central and his fifteen kilo luggage limit, which is apparently impossible for a Frenchman. Was fun. Was fun. Gosh. Then went to Southgate to deliver stuff, but person wasn't there to deliver to. Went to Boost. Got drinkz. Train, Jess got off at MC. Sigh sigh. I miss both of them. I really miss holding your hand. SHALL BE ABLE TO AGAIN IN TWO MONTHS.

Flub.

Another good day tomorrow. Hopely.

7:49pm

Noel heartlessly steals her dress with his taxi. Noel's face at the end. Oh, he amuses me.

Listen up what's the time said today, I'm gonna speak my mind. Take me up to the top of the world I wanna see my crime. Day by day, there's a man in a suit who's gonna make you pay for the thoughts that you think and the words they won't let you say. One fine day, I'm gonna leave you all behind. It wouldn't be so bad, if I had more time. Sailing down a river alone, I've been trying to find my way back home. But I don't believe in magic. Life is automatic. But I don't mind being on my own. 

And that is all there is in one song. He always had a thing for writing songs which were extremely repetitive. But it works. Still my greatest musical love. God-like genius indeed.

GOOD ONE SARAH

I thought our academic transcripts were free and that uni would just send them out to us. That's only for students who finish their courses this semester. So I have to pay fifteen bucks and submit a form, which I should've done ages ago apparently cause now everyone's gonna be doing it and it's gonna take ages to get back to me. I'm good at this uni business.

8th July
11:21am

Ceebs academic transcript. I'll just give accounting firms my ATAR. It looks a lot more impressive than my uni scores anyway. And will be fifteen bucks cheaper.

Happy *happy vibes*

Must message Alexis. Shall do.

Happy. Happy.

 

Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time. But I can't stop loving you with half of my heart. Half of my heart's got a real good imagination, half of my heart's got you.

Guitar in this is nicer than the original. Mmmmmm. Pretty.

Ridiculously happy. I should calm down and not have so many crazy mood swings.

This is also very nice. 

There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me. 

Not so scared anymore. You got my back. 

10:47pm

Sigh sigh. Tu me manques. I do dislike breaks. But Cat is back tomorrow. Happy. Alice isn't back for another..two weeks. Brother a week and a half. Flub blergh. But lunch with cool people on Wednesday. Though we have yet to decide where to go. Then you leave on Sunday again. Sigh sigh. I miss holding your hand in French. I miss holding you. Dearie me. We're never going to have those days again. Mm. I think I just realised that. Never going to end up in the same institution again. Same goes for a lot of other people. I wonder who I'll know in ten years.

Okay. Enough blogging on my phone. Hrm. Sleepy. Sleep cycle well and truly screwed right now. Sigh.

Where do we go? Who knows? But each day gets better

Do you remember when we first met? I sure do. It was some time in early September.

It actually was.

I guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away you might not roll back my direction real soon.

I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring. 

9:58pm

I feel vaguely unsettled. Not too sure why. I have some theories. But nothing definite. I just had a few funky reality moments today. I actually don't know you anymore. Looking at your photos, it was very much "who is this person?" It was a bit confusing. There's a panic in my stomach that really has nothing to do with exams. Hrm.

Sleepy time. Exams to be done and all that. Nadal won. I am happy. I'm largely all right. There's just a...something lodged in my heart or in my stomach that feels sorta tight. Mmm.

Five hours of writing tomorrow. Actually, on second thoughts, part of it may have something to do with exams.

I dream of you, and all the things you said. I wonder where you are now. Hold me down, all the world's asleep. I need you now, you known me off my feet. Yeah, I dream of you, and we talk of growing old. But you said "please don't". Slide in baby, together we'll fly. I tried praying but I don't know what you're saying to me.

Moving mountains

I have been mighty unproductive for the past two days. But I went through an accounting exam last night...okay, question one a and b of an accounting exam...BUT I DID DO SOMETHING. I dunno. It feels alright. I'm not too concerned. I think it'll work out alright. Piano on the other hand still has gotten no better. I'm not improving. Need to see my old piano teacher. I do miss his calm and chucklesome ways. He's a very chucklesome kind of guy.

I lost my way, she said she'd stay.

I am very grateful for the friends who manage to stick by me despite all the stupid things I've done.

Sigh what the hell am I doing?

7:49pm

Hrm. What is going on? Where are we going? What's happening? I'm much confused. Nyeh. We're just ordinary people. Listened to some Akon today.

Wish I could keep you much longer. I know you gotta go, cause you got things to do. Wish I could keep you much longer. Now you too busy for me girl 

10:14pm

Scratch the above song lyric. Why oh why oh why do I ever let myself doubt you? And...now what?

With me, it's all, or nothing

I think it's this middle ground, being around but not being a part of things which is the issue.

I don't want to hear "move on". I know I need to. But I can't manage it at the moment. I want to hear someone just say, it's alright, it'll get better with time. I'll move on eventually. But at the moment, I just can't move.

Some might say that sunshine follows thunder. Go and tell that to the man who cannot shine. Some might say that we should never ponder all our thoughts today, cause they will change over time.

Stop this train. I wanna get off and go home again.

My heart feels scattered.

See once in a while when it’s good, it’ll feel like it should. When they’re all still around and you’re still safe and sound and you don’t miss a thing til you cry when you’re driving away in the dark. Singing stop this train. I wanna get off and go home again. I can’t take the speed it’s moving in.

Or walking away in the dark, as the case may be, catching a train in the dark. It's alright. You're still around. But yeah. Lack of people. God my head hurts.

A long (probably will turn out being rather short actually) ramblynothing

I'm not too sure what it is exactly that I miss: being involved in music, or being with the people who were involved in it. I think it's a little bit of both. A lot of both. And also the fact that I'm no longer inherently, automatically included into that group. It actually hurts my heart. I will give it a name, cause then I sound less stupid. Actually, I probably sound more stupid. I shall name my heart Hilbert. Hilbert got all fluttery and excited thinking about outing for dinner on the day of the fry with people I like, which he probably shouldn't have cause nothing was finalised. But Hilbert got awful excited anyway, and ridiculously happy. Then plans went poof due to no one's fault, and Hilbert...just went thud. Completely deflated. Probably for several reasons involving not being able to see aforementioned people I like, and also realising, not for the first time, that the person I like actually, definitely, in no possible way, likes me back. So I'll probably spend Friday with other people I like. It's not that I don't love them just as much, I do. It's just that I will have, and have had, so many more chances to spend time with them this year, and experience a certain something in a certain setting which I want to experience with them, if that makes sense. I wanted this Friday night. I so badly wanted to relive, have another memory like that where I have dinner with a bunch of friends before going back to work on something. Even if I wouldn't have been able to have the second part, I would've loved to be part of the first.

Been stuck in my head all day. Also hurts my heart. Mitchell should've gone through. I think this was one of the songs associated with me back then. Flipping helltards, as Bec just said. Just...yeah.

11:02pm

Look at Mitchell's man stance...

11:21pm

And the hardest part was letting go not taking part. 

Monday 6th May
10:43am

So sleepy. At uni. Sitting here drinking in smells of food. Finally getting panicked about exams. Need to do this. And do it properly.

Don't dream too far.

I have discovered that I really do like you a lot. But at times, no, a lot of the time, you make me feel all the more fake. Well, just detached. And I told you stuff just then, but I don't know how seriously you took me. I still don't know you. Weird. I know what you're like. But I still don't know you.

Then, because of what we were talking, I was all thinking and stuff, then I was full on blog-stalking posts from one and a half, almost two years ago now. 

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go. 

But all that's dead and gone and past.

Lala. I'm being paranoid. Again. Over thinking. Again. Should stop it. Can't.

7:16am, next day

My dear, it can be said that you still terrify me.

I feel better now.

22nd April, 9:14pm

Watched The Voice. Wondered what Seal sang other than Kiss From A Rose and Fly Like An Eagle. Found this. I really like his smile. It's adorable. Oh, and his voice is pretty good too. He.

23rd April, 8:50am (why don't I just start another post...)

We were older then. 

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the giving up is the hardest part.  

10:48pm

If I had a gun I'd shoot a hole into the sun and love would burn this city down for you. And if I has the time, I'd stopped the world and make you mine. Excuse me if I spoke too soon. My eyes have always followed you around the room, cause you're the only god that I have ever seen, I'm holding on and waiting for the moment for my heart to be unbroken by the seams.

24th April, 8:24am

You know I'd stay, but I just can't stand it and I can feel the warning signs running around my mind.  So what do you say? You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway. Half the world away. I've been lost, I've been found, but I don't feel down. No I don't feel down.