Of being in year 12

Sometimes, it really hits me that I'm in my final year of high school. Like that time during SRC exec speeches when I'm sitting up at the front of the hall, gazing up at the stage. "That's a mighty fine stage," I thought to myself.

A little strange. But I love that school. Despite the lack of facilities and the hour-long commute every day, I love it.

This past week has been exceptionally emotional. Sitting in a little madrigal circle in the theatre, all it took was a gift and a "dah" from a life-long friend to set me off. Sitting here just thinking about chorals makes my heart ache. Because I'll never be there again. Which is a strange thought.

Then there was Mary's farewell, where Mieke's tears set me off as well. All this may or may not be attributed to me being overly tired.

I want to live this last year to the absolute fullest.

P.S. And every year after this one too.

Edit 9:11pm
I have had One running around my head for the better part of the week, with every line hitting my heart every time I listen to it. So it's high time I do some massive quote from it. The whole songs gets to me, but some parts get to me more.

Tried a few live versions, but they don't have the same desperation of the original. It's that weird squeaky breaking thing he does with his voice which gets to me.

Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same? Does it make it easier on you now you got someone to blame? 

Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth? You act like you never had love and you want me to go without. Well it's too late tonight, to drag the past out into the light. We're one, but we're not the same. We get to carry each other. 

Did I ask too much? More than a lot? You gave me nothing, now it's all I got. We're one, but we're not the same. Well, we hurt each other and we'll do it again. You'll say, "love is a temple, love the higher law." "Love is a temple." "Love the higher law." You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl. And I can't be holding on to what you've got, when all you got is hurt. One love. One blood. One life, you got to do what you should. One life with each other. 

One life, but we're not the same. We get to carry each other. 

Carry each other.