helas (= alas, in French)

Dear blogreader,

Alas, we are nearing the exam period. I have had two deep and meaningfuls which I have been meaning to produce, yet I cannot find the time/internet usage is higher than usual this month, and I didn’t want to keep going on the internet. Although I guess I could’ve just typed it up in word, like I am doing now. Alas, I have also forgotten one of the topics. I will remember. Maybe.

Happy birthday Vivien. I hope you enjoyed the extremely dodgy rendition of Awake. Dodgy to the point where I only sang a verse and chorus cause my mind went blank. I got nervous. Performing solo makes me nervous. Not to mention I didn’t know the song at all. Chord progressions, I detest thee. I hope you enjoyed everything. You will get your big present eventually. Despite what I may or may not show, I love you. I hope your day was filled with happiness, and I hope that all your days after are too.

I should go do some methods now. After I finish this.

It has been hectic recently. But it all turned out better than I expected. Now I just have to get past all those little things called exams. I should go memorise stuff as well. Does anyone else feel as though there is just not enough time? I find that I am incapable of studying past ten at night, unlike other dedicated people who sleep at one or something. I just can’t do it. My brain shuts down. Which means I am quite behind on memorising a lot of stuff because piano usually takes me to about eight. Recital in two weeks.

Hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Also: what do people call L3? I call it the music suite. However, Mr Chua told me he had never heard anyone say it before last night, when I said it. But Cat says it too. What does everyone else call it? Although, now I think about it, it doesn’t really make much sense to call it a music suite.

Voting for school leaders is now taking place. Should be interesting. Here's hoping.

Son, do you know what I’m stopping you for?

Cause I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low? Do I look like a mindreader, sir? I dunno.

Hilarity. The blanking out of the expletives rather detracts from the flow of the song, but what can one do when one tries to maintain a family friendly blog.

Spring Soirée last night was amusing. After band, I decided to go on Neopets. Apparently Angela had the same idea, as I heard her say as she walked past the computer room. So Julia, Angela and I spent some time on Neopets instead of doing something productive. Although I did end up doing about half an hour of revs afterwards. Alright, about twenty minutes. But I did do something.

This morning when I went to grab Anton from the consultation room, there was a sprig (bunch?) of fake flowers (see why I called it a sprig?) on top of him. Where did they come from?

The wraiths are gone on Neo. I didn’t even get to my killing cap for the Brutes and the Furies. Damn. Hopefully they come back. In the meanwhile, I shall continue to train up my Meerca in the hope that this plot is rewarding. I am spending way too much money on a combination of codestones and weaponry, and I have no income because I don't play the games, my stocks are all failing, and I can't be bothered managing my shop.

I wish I could have lived in a kind world. Without anxiety. Without fear. Without hurting other people. Without being hurt myself. Only doing the right things.

I wish I could have followed the shortest path, to the kind world I wish for. “That’s wrong.” “That’s stupid.” When it comes to other people’s lives, you can say that kind of irresponsible dreck as much as you want.

I wish I could’ve lived my life without making any wrong turns. But that’s impossible. A path like that doesn’t exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost.

We make mistakes.

And little by little, one step at a time, we push forward.

It’s all we can do. On our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up. Someday, we’ll reach something. We’ll reach someone. We pray.

I didn’t realise that was going to be that long. Taken from volume the twenty-first of Fruits Basket. When one sees text in manga form, it appears a lot shorter. I haven’t actually read the series in order, ever. It’s on my list of books to buy when I have loads of money. Or just when I have money which is my own. While on the subject of manga, Bleach is getting lame. Stupid, dodgy not being able to see stuffness.

Anyway, I like that quote; it stuck with me since the first time I read it. Because making mistakes is human, even though that sounds, and probably is, cliché. No one can be right all the time, no one can do right all the time. And even though I wish I had always felt what was “right”, I had always done what was right by others, what’s done is done. We can only change what’s in front of us.

Come on. It’s time to start walking.