If you won't save me, please don't waste my time

Listen up, what's the time, said today I'm gonna speak my mind. Take me up to the top of the world I wanna see my crime. Day by day there's a man in a suit who's gonna make you pay for the thoughts that you think, and the words they won't let you say. One fine day, gonna leave you all behind. It wouldn't be so bad if I had more time. Sailing down a river alone, I've been trying to find my way back home. But I don't believe in magic, life is automatic and I don't mind being on my own.

Had a good day with Em last week, and good days are fun. Went to Lincraft to buy bees on cloth to sew indie patches, and find lace which was, in the end, not found. Returned a violently overdue library book, then bought ribbon for my nefarious star jar making schemes. Walked past balloon dude making massive balloons, then went lunch and walked past huge massive adorable Yoshi plushie. His foot was the size of my head. Ate food, fished radioactive green jelly from the bottom of the dessert. Then chilled at Myer for a very, very extensive amount of time. Went through the underwear section cause it's fun, then went to toys which was also fun and sometimes disturbing cause people make creepy toys. Then finally went to the electronics section to find lights, which had been the initial objective. Found lights. Lights sold out. Sat on the floor browsing through stationery instead. Then had tea at Chocolate Lounge. I am noob at the tea making. Then bought a key ring. Then got escorted down to the platform.

Gift wrap on Monday was also fun. Met a second year comm student from Melbourne who was wrapping with me, and when Anita randomly visited, turned out they knew each other too. Sometimes the world can be very small. Gift wrapped with Julia last week too. We struggle under pressure.

Red

Came out ages ago, but I was listening to the album on repeat today so felt I had to stick my songfeels somewhere. SO HERE HAVE SOME SONGFEELS.

Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly. Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colours of autumn so bright just before they lose it all. Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. 

Touching him was like realising all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorising him was as easy as knowing the words to your old favourite song. Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realising there's no right answers. Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong. Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. 

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it's time now gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head. Burning red. Loving him was red. 

Losing him was blue like I'd never know, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. Burning red.  

And that's why he's spinning round in my head. Comes back to me, burning red. His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street. 

Elton John was playing on the bus back home. I was rocking out to the Crocodile Rock. It was wonderful.

For some reason we were singing this at dinner. Randomly popped up. Old cheesy pop songs. 

Mmmm so what have I done lately? I shall check my calendar.

After speech night:

- Partner interview. Was good. Bonded with the partner. 

- Passed driving test. 

- And according to my calendar, the only other thing I've done since speech night was see Austin today. I felt like I did a lot more though...

- Oh had training for gift wrap with Julia. Went to the pleases first to get stuff signed and stamped, then had Schnitz for dinner. My feet really hurt by the end. All this standing and walking business. 

- OH YES I WENT OUT WITH BEC. Went to San Churro and had weirdly salty churros. Then had sushi for lunch. Walked up and down and all around Knox. Saw nice dresses but I never buy anything without my mum, so went back the same night with family to buy dresses. 

- Saw Bond again with the brother because he didn't have anyone to see it with but now he does so we've both actually ended up seeing it twice. Got lost trying to find Hoyts. 

Event-wise, it looks to be a good rest of the week. Haircut, orientation day, gift wrap, then Em. Then further gift wrapping next week. Just hope no one rocks up with a basketball.

Changed the layout cause I decided I don't like blinding white and orange. I remember someone once read really deeply into the fact that all our blogs were black or grey. To be fair, we did seem to like blacks and greys. 

All the roads we have to walk are winding

Well, this is a little bit cool.

Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you. By now, you should've somehow realised what you're not to do. All the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that light the way are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how. I don't know how.

Had a pickernick last week. That was fun. Friends, food, ice-cream, ridiculously warm weather, bubbles, leaf crowns. Then we split, third-wheeled Bleh to Lincraft. Played air hockey with Blam as Em frolicked amongst rolls of cloth. They got slusheeeeeeeesssss.

Speech night last night was interesting. Had three generations of music captains at dinner, and some other people. Was good. Had a laughter and talking headache before speech night even started. Was fun. Hugs. Many hugs. I do like hugs. I miss it all. Went down to the pub like cool kids afterwards, conversed with teachers, had lemonade. We always go for the hard stuff.

And every time I tell that particular story, everyone's a bit like "wut. How does that work?" And what I said yesterday was true. The one person who, in my mind, had any right to be annoyed or flip out on me or have any issue with it is probably the only person who doesn't. So yeah. Thanks little friend. I am eternally grateful.

Get a grip on yourself it don't cost much.

Of virtual housekeeping/cleaning

Currently cleaning out files on computer to make space for four seasons of Pokémon. After I copy them over, I'm not going to have much space left over for anything else. OH WELL. If only this damn external hard drive would work. I plug it in, it whirs, and then just sits there being invisible. Sigh.

However, I am now free. Wheeeee. A whole month and a half of doing nothing. Need to learn scales again. Need to sell all these uni textbooks I have sitting here taking up to much space. Shall start reading again. Finished piano on Wednesday, went and lunched with friends. Sat and chilled on State lawn for a little bit after that, freaked Tony out with my indecision. Copland thingo tonight. Should be alright. Something about celebrating the end of the year, and they feed us, so yes, should be good. Going somewhere beforehand with Anita. Don't know where. Just somewhere. Due to timing issues with the little sister's schooling times, have to get out to city early. Shall shop for card/present-making supplies.

Went to information night last night. We used to be so young.

And that's first year done. Weird. Weird weird weird. Still feel like I'm only just fresh out of high school. Things are different (duh). And the way people are and the way things work have to be different because situations have changed, and our lives are different. I realised that a long while ago. Still working on accepting it.

I still do not understand why people have an issue with wearing jeans with runners

Then again, I hardly ever wear anything that isn't jeans and runners.

You know I love you so

Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones. Turn it into something beautiful. You know, you know I love you so.

So I had untimely sickness during exam period right before two exams and a gig. It was wonderful. Still sick, but not floored by it any more. Now must cram piano. Which is never a good idea. Finished watching season one of Castle this morning. Started yesterday afternoon. Now I have nothing to watch cause season two is only half downloaded dammit. 

Coldplay was good. We were a bit far away. But it was wonderful. Full of pyrotechnics and confetti. And stupid tall people with their stupid beers and stupid cigarettes in front of us. And then my mylo band died halfway through...oops. But was good. ATA then killed me the next morning though. Sigh. OH WELL. DONE. FIRST YEAR OVER. NEARLY. KIND OF. I just dislike the fact that I should've done better. It's not the actual mark, I don't know that for another month. It's just the fact that whatever mark I do end up getting won't be what I was capable of. That's what kinda irks me, but ceebs applying for consideration and sitting supps. Don't want to spend the whole break studying. 

But it was a good day anyway because I got to see Mahi and Bec and Alice and Julia, and then we went to lunch, though Alice had to go do something with her teeths or something. But we had crepes/croque monsieur, and it was nice to laugh and talk and watch friends appreciate good-looking French waitresses. It's fun to make up fragrance names, and eat other people's mushrooms. I do like my friends. Then I ditched, and trained home with Austin, which was also very enjoyable. 

It was a good day. 

Now I have to practice piano hidfhpsihodsfhdshf

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand. 

This daydream is dangerous.

Slept in til about quarter to ten this morning. Latest in quite a long while I believe. Oops. Had piano lesson. Piano teacher showed me from where in Philadelphia she was on Google maps. Have spent the past week or two listening to Taylor Swift shuffle. 

Burnt my thumb on my hair straightener today, so now it's all shiny and stings a little. On the bright side, I got three free ice-creams at Flinder's so I could freeze it on the train back home. 

Had macro yesterday. Was alright. Thought I got something right, but appaz not. Oh well. Done, gone, and now I can go recycle my macro notes cause not touching eco again. Once the recycling gets taken out in a week, cause it's ridiculously full right now. 

Sigh it's been three weeks zzzzzzzzzz. Not that I'm counting. 

And a year's passed. Well, still a month and half to go. But still. Nearing the end. Weird. Just looked through my diary. Had no entry for 7th November last year, but had methods exam 1 on the 8th. So it was a day before methods. 

Almost theresies. My thumb is numb. And Jay-Z is ridiculously tall. He usually looks shorter. 

Mood: good enough. Kind of nothing. Just kind of waiting for it to be done. Ten days til Jess is back. Two weeks til I'm all done for this year. 

Reasons for :)

I just went through my box of letters and cards and postcards and assorted other things (e.g. really squished paper flower from Valentine's last year, crane with lyrics, invite to my own birthday, printouts of emails). Reasons for happy: I have cool friends who make me stuff. They also come up with very interesting metaphorical analogy-cal simile-y things.

In other news, two family members currently sick. I can't be sick for the next three weeks. It's alright. Just try not to breathe.

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it.

More exciting news (I'm really bad at post titles but feel like they still deserve titles)

Started a new diary today. Yes, exciting news. So diary the fifth is the one Jess gave me for my birthday this year. It joins the original beat up and battered Hello Kitty with the bits falling of plastic cover, the funky green stripy one with the funky make shift book mark and my name on it in newspaper letters, the third black one which was aptly full of black...moments (not that black, my life is pretty white or something) but also some very nice moments because that was the one that went with me to France, and the fourth brown one which I bought with Jess from QV.

This diary's really heavy. I suspect toting my diary to uni was why my bag broke. Reading back is kinda amusing yet very very cringeworthy, especially when I look at/read my thirteen-year-old self. Very cringey.

Exciting cash flow reconstructions to be done. I kinda suck at this part. So must practice and then beast the eggzam. Which is in a month and a day. Four and a half weeks. Bring it.

Loljk please don't, I'm not ready.